Unwind My Resolve: Regal Rights Book #3 Page 9

  We circled for what felt like an eternity. I had never felt so out of control in my life, and I understood why I had never been to one of these places before. It was utterly terrifying.

  Sophia tilted her head back, enough to make the swing dip backward. On instinct, I reached out for her, but the motion of the ride put her at quite a distance from me.

  I counted down the seconds until the ride ended. When we stopped moving, and I could touch the ground again, I had the urge to lay down on the concrete and pray for our safe return to real life.

  “That was so much fun!” Sophia said. “Let’s do another ride.”

  I stood on wobbly legs and took her hand, more for comfort. “How about something a little less intense?”

  “Less intense?” she repeated. “Those were easy.”

  I balked, tasting the remnants of my huevos rancheros. “Easy?”

  “Was it that bad?” she asked me. She grinned like a crazy woman, and I didn’t want to be the one to make her smile go away.

  “No,” I said, trying to hold onto whatever manhood I had left. “How about a ride where we sit together?” I offered my hand to her and she took it.

  “Sounds good to me,” she said. “I’ll take you on an easy roller coaster.”

  “Does such a thing exist?” I asked.

  She chewed on her lip. “It doesn’t have any loops.”

  The idea of going upside down made my stomach flip-flop. “Works for me.”

  On our way to my imminent doom, Sophia and I wandered through the crowds toward the massive wooden rollercoaster in the distance. It was white with chips in the paint and looked as if it could use more than a few repairs. Distracting myself from the coaster for the time being, I focused on the crowd. There were people of all shapes and sizes. Families and couples walked past us, many of them with smiles on their faces.

  Sophia and I melted into the crowd as if we were two regular people. To those around us, that was what we were. Not a king and the love of his life. The anonymity was the biggest thing I loved in England, and America now offered me the same sort of invisibility. Going to a public place in Qatar was much different than anywhere else. Here, no one balked or stared at me when I entered a room or walked into a public park. I knew I couldn’t stay away forever, so I tried to memorize the feeling of warmth that flooded my body as we walked together, hand-in-hand without a care in the world.

  The anticipation of riding the rollercoaster was much worse for me than the ride itself. Other than the initial fall from the highest peak, I understood why people thought they were so fun. Unlike the swings, I was able to be close to Sophia. I felt her body tense as we dropped and swooped around each corner after that.

  When the ride finished, we took another loop around the line and did it again.

  * * *

  “Coasters are your thing,” Sophia said after we rode two more of them. Both had loops. While I closed my eyes for most of the rides, I enjoyed the rush of adrenaline. No other part of my life offered that feeling.

  “I suppose so,” I said.

  “I’m famished,” she said. “How about we take a break and eat something?”

  I pressed a hand against my stomach. “And then more rides? I’m not sure.”

  “We don’t have to do more rides,” she said. “Especially right after eating. We can do some shopping or play some games.”

  She was the one who wanted to play the games. I wasn’t going to be the one to disappoint her.

  We stopped at a smokehouse restaurant on the far end of the park. Since it was later in the afternoon, we didn’t have to wait for a table. Once we were seated, Sophia and I downed our glasses of water before ordering two beers.

  “I think this is the place with the amazing chili-cheese fries,” Sophia said, checking out the menu.

  “I’ll leave the ordering up to you,” I said, putting my menu down.

  Sophia winked at me. “I won’t disappoint.”

  After the waiter took our order, we sat back and sipped our beers. My body ached from all the jolts from the rides, and it felt nice to be on solid ground.

  Sophia’s gaze was far away, and I reached over to take her hand.

  “What’s on your mind?” I asked, glancing in the direction where she looked.

  A family of five sat at one of the larger tables. The three kids were coloring, and two of them were fighting over the blue crayon while their parents—who looked utterly exhausted—didn’t bother to break up the fight.

  Sophia blinked, coming out of her trance, and looked at me. “Have you ever thought about starting a family?”

  14

  Sophia

  My words echoed in my mind as Luke’s face fell. The lovely family across the way entranced me enough that I blurted my question out without thinking.

  Have you ever thought about starting a family?

  I might as well have asked him if he wanted to screw on this table and make a few babies that minute. What if he didn’t want to have children and I had backed him into a corner with that question? I didn’t even know if he wanted to be with me. Now, he probably thought I was forcing myself on him and demanding we have kids. I was still young, and nothing about our future was set in stone. I was such an idiot.

  “I just meant…” I trailed off, my mind scrambling to bring back the serene smile on his face instead of whatever he was thinking at that moment.

  He blinked and then his hand shot across the table and enveloped mine. “No, don’t take it back. I was a little surprised, is all.”

  “I didn’t want to imply that I—we—shit,” I said, shaking my head.

  He squeezed my hand. “Until you came into my life, there were so many things I’d never considered before. Children being one of them.”

  He glanced at the family, and their servers dropped the food on the table in front of the three ravenous boys. They dug into their food, and I couldn’t help but smile. Coming from a small family, I always wanted to have several children so that they didn’t feel as alone as I had as a child. As much as I regretted the way I asked Luke the question, I still wanted to know the answer.

  He had a more tragic past than me, so I wouldn’t have blamed him if children weren’t on his list of things to accomplish in life.

  Was Gia pressuring him? Was that why she wanted him to get married? I bet she would give him his wedding day off without meddling and then get on him about having children immediately after.

  Thinking of him marrying someone else made my stomach twist into knots.

  Our food couldn’t have come at a better time. I could tell that Luke wanted to be as far away from the conversation as possible, so I dropped it.

  “This is biscuits and gravy,” Luke mused. “I don’t see the biscuits.”

  “They are underneath the amazing gravy,” I said, poking at the bread with my fork.

  “Ah, I see,” he said and dug right in.

  I waited for his reaction. The way his eyes rolled into the back of his head made me smile. “I knew you’d like it.”

  I dug into my po’ boy and had a similar reaction.

  “How do you not weigh a hundred pounds more than you do with all this delicious food?” Luke asked, taking another bite.

  “It’s all about moderation,” I said. “Though a lot of people don’t have the same mentality.”

  “I’ll have to bring some recipes home for the palace chefs. I think they could do a nice spin on this food.”

  Luke glanced at me with his mention of going home. I locked eyes with him, and something shifted over us. He started talking about the chefs and how his father had cultivated a particular type of menu that had been repeated over the years. Luke hadn’t realized that was a part of his royal duties.

  I tried my damnedest to stay in the conversation. While I responded appropriately, my mind wandered to the end of his visit. He had no choice. He had to go back to Qatar. But where did that leave me? Where did that leave us?

  I doubted I could make a
long-distance relationship with a king work when it was customary for him to get married and have at least one heir. I wasn’t about to be his American booty call, so at the end of this very short visit, both of us would have to choose our future. It looked like I was the only one who would have to change everything, though.

  In the month that we were broken up, I imagined him sweeping me off my feet and taking me to become his queen. Now that it seemed like a possibility, why was I so afraid?

  I would also never forgive myself if I let him leave again. I was completely in love with him, and I didn’t know if my heart would survive if he left.

  There was no need to repeat any mistakes between us without making sure it was what we both wanted. If Luke was unwilling to accept what I was about to give up, if he didn’t care, then maybe ending it was the best thing for the both of us.

  Luke excused himself to go to the restroom. When he was far enough away from the table, I wrapped my arms around my stomach and squeezed. This couldn’t be it for us.

  All of the nervous feelings from when I left Qatar the last time bubbled to the surface. Nothing mattered without him. I couldn’t see a future in which he wasn’t next to me.

  I had to put it all out on the table for him. No more secrets. As much as I still wasn’t sure about the job with the Dallas News, I wasn’t willing to throw away the opportunity unless I was one-hundred percent sure that we wouldn’t work out.

  I slugged down the rest of my beer, willing my nerves to relax so I could think straight.

  Staring at the family across the way, I was distracted by the mini-food fight between the two older kids. While the mother wasn’t amused in the slightest, it took me out of my brain for a minute, allowing me to focus on what was sitting right across from me.

  Luke appeared next to the table. His head cocked to the side. “Everything all right?”

  I took a deep breath and grabbed the check from the table. I hadn’t realized the server had brought it over. “I’m perfectly fine.”

  * * *

  Shoving away all the “what ifs” for the remainder of our time at the amusement park, I fell even more in love with Luke. We played a ton of different games, ranging from group to individual ones. I kicked his ass on a lot of them, determined to flip the gender roles and earn him a big stuffed animal. Luke accepted my gifts like the gracious king he was, but I knew it bruised his ego a bit to have me win them for him.

  When it started to get dark and the lights on the rides burned into my retinas, Luke suggested we head back to my place.

  I agreed, even though I wished we could have stayed at the amusement park a little longer.

  Denying the inevitable could only last so long. I had to pull up my big girl pants and get the conversation over with. That would give Luke two days to figure out what he wanted.

  * * *

  “Are you all right?” Luke asked as we stood outside my apartment. He held two bags of takeout Chinese food that I barely remembered ordering. I was too in my head about what I needed to tell him, and I completely lost track of everything else.

  “Yes,” I said, forcing a smile. “I’m a little dizzy. Probably hungry.”

  “Let’s go in then,” he said, offering me his arm.

  Pressing my fingers against Luke’s arm kept them from trembling.

  What if I told him on Friday about the job? After he told me whatever it was that he needed.

  No. Prolonging the lie was only going to get me into trouble again. As far as he knew, I was jobless and had no boyfriend. The perfect recipe for the position that he was trying to fill.

  Queen Sophia. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the name.

  We reached my door much quicker than I anticipated.

  Luke went into my kitchen and found plates and utensils. As if I were a robot on autopilot, I moved everything off the table and set up the takeout, popping the boxes open and gathering them in the center of the space.

  Luke came to the table, pressed a kiss to my cheek, and set the table as if he were a busboy instead of a king.

  The thought of him being king brought back my name attached to a similar title.

  Luke sat down and looked up at me. I couldn’t move from my spot. I stared at the small crack in the top of the chair that I hadn’t noticed before. Had I bought it like that?

  “Sophia.” Luke’s voice broke into my thoughts. “You must tell me what’s on your mind.”

  “Okay,” I breathed, finally looking at him. “I have to tell you something.”

  Luke’s mouth pressed into a hard line. “What is it?”

  “Carrie,” I said.

  “Carrie?” he asked, his eyebrow raising.

  “She’s not my friend,” I said.

  “Who is Carrie?” he asked.

  I sighed. “The woman I spoke with yesterday.”

  “Your divorced friend—but you said she’s not a friend?”

  “Yes. I mean, no.”

  Luke shook his head. “Just spit it out, Sophia. The food is getting cold. Whatever it is—”

  “She’s an editor in chief,” I said. “For the Dallas News. I went on an interview. That’s where I was coming from when you showed up on my doorstep.”

  He licked his lips and dropped his gaze to the table. “Oh, I see.”

  I rushed over to his side, needing him to hear me out. “She called to offer me the job. I asked her to give me a week to decide because I don’t know what’s going to happen between us, but I wanted to figure it out. I’m sorry I lied. I just—I’m not sure what to do about all of this.”

  I expected Luke to get mad and yell at me for lying or to walk out of my apartment. I did not expect him to sit there and say nothing. It was much worse than I anticipated. So much worse.

  “Please, say something,” I said, resorting to begging. Had I ruined everything by telling him about Carrie? Damn it! I should have waited. If he wanted me to come back to Qatar with him, he would have asked already. Was this him telling me he only wanted closure? What the hell were the last few days about then? Who would tell someone they loved them and then leave for good? I wondered if I had thought about his return all wrong.

  He had no intention of taking me back with him.

  I plopped down into my chair and stared at my food. My stomach growled, but the sour taste in my mouth had already ruined my appetite.

  Luke’s head lifted, and he reached for the closest box to him and poured some noodles onto his plate. “We have one more day together. We can decide everything after that.”

  I opened my mouth and then thought better of it. He had come to Dallas on his terms, and he was obviously going to leave on those terms as well. Whatever he had planned would wait until he was ready to reveal it.

  Even though I felt like shit for blurting it all out, once I forced down some of the Chinese takeout, I felt a little better about my decision. Neither of us could worry about feelings when it came to the inevitable conclusion that loomed over us. We had to put it all out there, and if we made it through the worst of it, we would come out on top, together or not. This was a turning point in our relationship, and I wasn’t going to hold back or lie to keep living in our little make-believe world. Those stories were in children’s books, and this was real life. It was my life, and I had to take it by the reins and ride into whatever sunset fate had in store for me.

  15

  Luke

  I never intended to be the downer of the day, but Sophia’s admission about the phone call from her possible future employer completely blindsided me. For once, I didn’t curb my reaction. It put a wrench in my plans for sure, but I should have been more reserved. I didn’t care that Sophia had moved on with her life in a month. If she never worked again, I would think something was wrong with her.

  The job offer itself didn’t bother me, but why did she feel she needed to lie to me? Were my intentions unclear to her? I wasn’t against her taking the job if that was what she wanted. Perhaps I had completely miscalculated the entire s
ituation. Without being honest and forthcoming to her, she felt she needed to keep a part of her life hidden from me.

  If there were a way to feel more terrible than I already did, it would be caused by leaving Sophia in Dallas while I returned home empty-handed.

  My reaction had terrified her.

  I tried to make up for it by brushing it off, but I knew I came across callous. It seemed like I had taken a bunch of steps forward in our relationship and huge strides backward. We were at square one again, and it was all my fucking fault.

  For the rest of the evening, Sophia was quiet and reserved. I tried to make small talk, but after dinner, she shut down. We didn’t discuss Carrie or the job, even though I prompted her to. She had to know that I wasn’t the type of man who wanted to take away her choices, but I hadn’t given her the counteroffer yet.

  I had somehow managed to end another amazing trip with Sophia in the same way as all the others.

  No, this couldn’t be the end. I wouldn’t allow it. I was reserving that next step until tomorrow. Was it possible to move it up?

  Even when we went to bed that night, after politely kissing each other on the lips, I lay awake for hours.

  I was motionless enough that she had no idea I was still awake. As Sophia went through the normal phases of sleep, I stared at the ceiling, my eyes creating shapes in the plaster above me. The shapes turned to faces—angry ones. Was my subconscious messing with me?

  Would waiting until the morning help me out at all? I had already blown it with that idiotic reaction.

  When I was sure Sophia was asleep, I slid out of bed as quietly as I could and went to the window. Glancing out the window, the street lights created shadows across the concrete. The stillness of the night offered no new advice for me to follow.

  The right thing for me to do was go back to my kingdom and allow Sophia to live out her life and dreams. But we’d already been there before and nothing good had come from it. We were both miserable.