Don’t Close Your Eyes Read online

  “Luke and I had sex,” I blurted out.

  Nina’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. “Oh wow,” she said. “I was not expecting that.” She grinned slyly at me. “So was it great?”

  I groaned. “Of course that’s what you’re most concerned with,” I said.

  “He didn’t fire you, did he?” Nina asked suddenly, sounding worried.

  “No, he didn’t fire me,” I said, rolling my eyes. “But I had already told him that I wasn’t going to be there today, and I just figured we could probably both use a day to process things.”

  “Are there things to process?”

  “Of course there are,” I said. “Aren’t there always?”

  “You don’t have feelings for him, do you?” Nina asked, sounding surprised.

  “No!” I said immediately. “Of course not. It was just sex. Just meaningless fucking, really.”

  Nina shook her head, a grin on her face. “Well, to be honest, I think that’s great,” she said. “You needed to get laid. Now you have.”

  “I totally botched the ending, though,” I said. “I made it totally awkward.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “Like, the second he was done, I grabbed my clothes, got dressed, and just left.”

  Nina frowned. “What did you expect was going to happen?” she asked, sounding confused. She paused. “You don’t think he wanted it to be something more, do you?”

  “No!” I said again. “He told me it was nothing more. He didn’t even want to do it in a bed because ‘it wasn’t that kind of thing,’ whatever that means.” I knew as soon as those words were out of my mouth that I was going to regret them. But it was too late, Nina had already heard them.

  Her eyebrows shot toward her hairline. “So if you didn’t have sex in the bed, where did you two canoodle?” she asked.

  “First of all,” I said primly, “we weren’t canoodling, and for future reference, I hate that word. And second of all, I don’t see how it’s any of your business.”

  “Come on, how am I supposed to live vicariously through you if I can’t picture any of this?” Nina asked. “How am I supposed to give you advice on how to proceed?”

  “You shouldn’t be picturing any of it,” I said. But at her exasperated look, I relented. “It was in the living room, on the couch,” I told her. “We started out making out in the kitchen, but I moved us in there.”

  “Good choice,” Nina said, nodding sagely.

  “Anyway, I don’t need any advice on how to proceed. I already know what needs to happen,” I said.

  “And that is?” Nina asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

  “You need to go to his place tomorrow and take over Duck’s training for me. You know it’ll be better for the dog to get a couple of different trainers anyway. It’ll make her more likely to listen to whoever she’s with, rather than only ever obeying me.”

  It was another of those white lies. I could tell already that Duck was going to obey Luke, after everything that I’d done with her. But I needed to make this believable for Nina. I couldn’t let her think that I was just chickening out, or else she would never agree to take over for me.

  And I wasn’t sure that I could face Luke again.

  What must he have thought, with the way that I had run out of there like that? I must have seemed so idiotic. So childish.

  And the hilarious thing about that was that I was pretty sure I was older than him.

  “There’s no way I’m going over there instead of you,” Nina said, shaking her head. When I gave her a pleading look, she shook it again for good measure. “All right, first of all, you know how guys are,” she continued. “More than likely, he’s going to act like nothing happened. He’s probably stoked that you treated this like just another hookup, rather than hanging around and making it into something that it wasn’t.”

  “I hope so,” I said, but that didn’t do anything to calm my nerves about it. “I don’t know, it was just kind of weird. He acted like he was the one who didn’t want me to leave. Or at least not yet.”

  “But he didn’t want to go to bed with you,” Nina reminded me. “Probably he just wanted to wait a little bit, maybe put on a movie, and then go for round two. Again, you know what guys are like.”

  “Oh,” I said, trying not to sound too surprised. But suddenly, as she said that, it all finally clicked into place. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” I said. I was relieved that the answer was something like that. I didn’t know what I had expected, but I had been really worried that maybe he hadn’t wanted me to leave, that things were going to be super awkward between us. Like he might have somehow had some mid-sex epiphany that he really did like me and wanted to date me.

  “Why is this bothering you so much, anyway?” Nina asked, cocking her head to the side and putting her hands on her hips as she studied me. “You said that you don’t have feelings for him, and if you don’t have feelings and he didn’t fire you outright, I don’t know why you’re so bent out of shape about it.”

  “Dad warned me about him,” I finally admitted.

  “Warned you how?” Nina asked in surprise. “I mean, I know that a couple of his older brothers had reputations for sleeping around and whatever, but first of all, I think you’re old enough to make those decisions on your own, and second of all, I haven’t heard anything like that about Luke. He’s young, he’s not the relationship type, but to be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever even seen him out around town. Or I didn’t recognize him if I did.”

  “Yeah, I don’t think I’ve seen him around either,” I said. I shrugged. “I don’t know what Dad thought he was warning me against. And at first, I thought it was just something like, he thought he was losing his baby girl to some other guy. But he really looked into things. He pretty much interrogated some of the other hands in town, the ones who used to work for Luke and the Dawson’s, and apparently things are pretty strict there. What did he say? Luke has high expectations. He was worried that Luke was going to work me to death.”

  “I’m looking out for you,” Nina vowed. “I know you’ve had some pretty long days with him, but if I thought you were in any danger of burning out, I would cancel the rest of your appointments there. And I hope your dad knows that.”

  “Yeah,” I said, momentarily toying with the possibility that this might be a way to get out of going to the rest of Duck’s training sessions. I just had to feign exhaustion. Pretend that he was working me harder than he actually was.

  But that wouldn’t get me out of the awkwardness of tomorrow. I wasn’t working with Luke today, so there was no way to even pretend that he was overworking me.

  “I don’t know, I’m sure it’s just your dad’s way of looking out for you,” Nina finally said. “He’s pretty overprotective of you sometimes.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I said, rolling my eyes. But inwardly, I was wondering if I should just go over and ask Dad what his thoughts were about all of this. Oh, not that I would ever tell him that I had slept with Luke. But he might have some insights on the man’s character. Things that I hadn’t thought about. I really just wanted to know why Dad was so concerned. It wasn’t like I never interacted with guys through the dog training center, but this was the first time Dad had ever been so adamant that I needed to be careful.

  The more I thought about it, the more curious I was. Dad had said that he didn’t know the Dawson’s, but he seemed to have learned a lot about them. Who were his sources? Just the hands who already worked at his farm? He didn’t have many of those, and I didn’t think he was getting out of the house all that much. No, there had to be some sort of story there.

  I headed over to Dad’s after work. But when I got there, I found him staring off into space in his study, lost in thought. He wasn’t even reading or anything, he was just staring. “Dad?” I asked from the doorway.

  “Hey sweetie,” he said, trying to smile at me. But he looked pale and exhausted, and the corners of his mouth trembled.

  “What�
�s wrong?” I asked immediately, striding over to him and feeling his forehead.

  Dad batted my hand away. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” he said. “Nothing’s wrong.”

  “Bullshit,” I said. “I think you’ve got a fever. You should probably be in bed.”

  “I’m fine,” Dad insisted, but he let me get him up and lead him up to bed. I got the thermometer, and sure enough, he was running a fever.

  Fortunately, when I went to the bathroom, he had medicine for that. I forced him to take it. “Dad, you need medicine and rest,” I said. “It’s non-negotiable.”

  “I’m fine,” Dad said, as stubborn as ever.

  “Maybe I should call the doctor,” I said, already trying to remember where the emergency numbers were.

  “Don’t do that,” Dad said. “Tell you what. I’ll stay in bed and let you play nurse for me, but just for the night, all right? And tomorrow, I’ll get up and go about my work as usual.”

  I wanted to argue, but I knew that the more I argued with him now, the more likely he was going to get out of bed right this minute. Better to keep him in bed for at least the night. We could revisit this tomorrow.

  “All right,” I agreed, tucking the blankets up around his chin. “But you have to behave yourself, okay? No sneaking out of bed when you think I’m not looking.”

  “Deal,” Dad said. A long, rattling cough shook his body, but he batted my hands away when I tried to prop him up.

  “Stubborn as a mule,” I muttered under my breath.

  Dad grinned up at me, not repentant in the slightest. I wouldn’t expect him to be any other way.

  15

  Luke

  Brea showed up for work on Wednesday morning, just like she’d promised. I didn’t know what to think about that. I guess part of me had been thinking that she wouldn’t show. That she would back out somehow. It was strange to see her again, acting just like normal.

  I, on the other hand, couldn’t seem to quit thinking about how much I wanted to push her back against the wall and take her all over again. She wasn’t dressed in one of her sexiest outfits, but I liked the way her sundress moved when she walked.

  “I’m just here to work with Duck,” she said, immediately. “Not to have sex again. I know that wasn’t what the other night was about.”

  I stared at her, surprised to hear her say that so boldly. But I recovered quickly. “Of course,” I said. “Duck’s in the house,” I paused. “I’ve got some things to do.”

  How was it that now I was the one feeling awkward? I was just shocked that she had brought up the sex so casually. I knew she didn’t always think through what she was saying, but I’d expected her to skirt around the topic at least. Not to bring it up outright.

  I shook my head and went to the barn. Tanner was already there, making notes on a pad of paper. His plans for the day, he said, and showed me when I came in.

  “Looks like you have something else on your mind today, though,” Tanner said teasingly, wrapping his knuckles against my skull. “Anyone in there?”

  I pushed him away from me. “Stop it,” I said, but I was grinning. “I was listening.”

  “With half an ear, maybe,” Tanner said.

  “I was totally paying attention,” I maintained.

  “Not to me, though,” Tanner said, his eyes twinkling. “You keep looking up toward the house. I take it Brea is back again today?”

  “Yeah, she’s back,” I said gruffly. “What, did you think she was just going to blow off the rest of Duck’s sessions? She’s still working with her on retrieving.” I paused. “The only reason she wasn’t here yesterday was because she had some other appointment she had to go to. I’m not their only customer.”

  Tanner raised an eyebrow at me. “And that’s the only reason she wasn’t here yesterday?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I said sharply. “Now worry about work.”

  “You do the same,” Tanner said, smirking at me.

  Tanner and I worked together for most of the morning.

  “Fuck,” I snarled, throwing aside one of the wooden pegs that I’d been hammering. I had hit it at the wrong angle, and the stupid thing had split. It wasn’t the first time I had done that, not even that morning. I knew that I needed to be careful, but I was still having a hard time focusing.

  Especially now that Brea and Duck were working outside again, where I had a good view of the two of them. I should just turn around, but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

  “Here, let me show you a little trick,” Tanner said. He proceeded to take one of the pegs and jam it halfway into its hole with his bare hands. “Then you do a nice two-handed swing. Helps you hit it straight on. Like this.”

  I tried to mimic what he was doing, and sure enough, it was a lot easier. I still felt strange not holding on to the peg, thinking it might wobble. But I knew it couldn’t do that.

  By lunchtime, we had assembled half the frame for the new chicken coop that we were putting up.

  “Looking good,” Tanner said, smoothing his hands over the pieces I had just finished sawing and assembling.

  “Yours too,” I said, nodding at the other half of the frame. “You want to come in for some lunch?”

  “Sounds like a plan,” Tanner said, following me up toward the house. We passed Brea on the way, and I paused. “Why don’t you invite her to join us?”

  I gave Tanner a look, but I had already been thinking the same thing in my own head. “Hey, Brea!” I called over. “You want to come have a bite to eat?”

  “Yeah, that’d be great!” Brea said, smiling cautiously at me.

  We sat out on the back deck, admiring the view of the fields. “God, I’m so glad it’s getting warmer around here,” Tanner said, leaning back in his lawn chair and stretching broadly. “I was starting to miss Texas.”

  “It’s not that different there compared to here,” I said. “And you’ll be back in that hot-ass state before you know it.”

  “Bet you were missing it for other reasons too, though, weren’t you?” Brea asked sympathetically.

  “Yeah, kind of,” Tanner said, shrugging. “But at least some of my brother’s and my sister’s out here with me. I’ve got plans for this weekend thankfully. That should help some.”

  “What sort of plans?” I asked in surprise. This was the first I was hearing about it. Unless he just meant that he was going to go to Kinsey’s Bar every night; that was nothing unusual. That was probably all he meant, actually.

  But Tanner had something else in mind. “I was thinking I’d go duck hunting this weekend,” he said. “A couple of buddies back home just went, and it got me researching where the best places were to go around here. I’m pretty excited about it.” He paused. “You should come. I know you said you didn’t think Duck was ready yet, but she’s been doing a pretty amazing job lately. And maybe chasing around after real ducks might be good work for her."

  “Huh,” I said. I had to admit, it sounded like a good idea. I glanced over at Brea. “What do you think?”

  “We’re not married,” she said. Then, she clapped a hand over her mouth, staring wide-eyed over at me. “I just meant that it’s not up to me,” she quickly said. “You do whatever you want to do.”

  Tanner was laughing. I rolled my eyes. If he’d had any doubts that Brea and I had slept together, they must be gone now. I wondered, not for the first time, why she had to be so damned weird.

  But I also had to wonder if I would be so enamored of her if she weren’t.

  “What I meant,” I said, “was, do you think that would be a good idea for Duck? Or would that somehow set her back in her training?”

  “No, I think that would be a great idea,” Brea said, and I could tell she was still blushing. Just a little, but it was there in her cheeks. It was cute, I had to admit.

  “Why don’t you come with us too?” Tanner asked Brea. “You could help out with Duck. Make sure that she’s behaving right. And if she started to get too rowdy, to the point whe
re she was going to scare off all the birds in the area, you could take her a safe distance away from us.”

  “I don’t know,” Brea said, biting her lower lip.

  “We’d pay you, of course,” Tanner added.

  “It’s not that,” Brea said, shaking her head. “I just don’t want to spoil the guy’s time. I know hunting is, like, sacred to you guys.”

  Tanner snorted. “You wouldn’t be the first woman I ever went hunting with,” he said. He shrugged. “Anyway, it was just a thought. If you’re not interested, you’re not interested.”

  Brea was still looking over at me. “Are you sure you wouldn’t mind?” she asked.

  “I think it’s a good idea,” I said gruffly, because I could tell that she wasn’t asking Tanner. “Like Tanner said, we could use it as an extra sort of training session. Real world experience.”

  The truth of the matter had very little to do with that, though. I was surprised when Tanner first suggested that Brea join us on the hunting excursion. But I found that I didn’t mind the idea of it. In fact, it was kind of exciting. I liked the idea of spending more time with her.

  Something about her made me want to get to know her better. I knew that was getting myself into dangerous territory. She had made it very clear that she never wanted a repeat of the other evening. But all the same, with the way she was looking at me, like she actually cared about my opinion, maybe there was something more.

  “All right,” Brea said. “If you’re both sure you wouldn’t mind, I’d love to come along. Got to make sure you guys are still taking good care of the puppy, after all.”

  Fuck. She was going. I’d have to thank my cousin later. The cheeky bastard totally set us up.

  I pursed my lips, wanting to comment on that. Duck was my puppy; it was up to me how I decided to treat her. And beyond the whole lack of training thing, it wasn’t like I had ever done anything too bad when it came to Duck. I might let her nose through the trash every once in a while, or drink out of the toilet bowl. But nothing worse than that. I didn’t know what she thought would happen.