Hundred Reasons Read online

  Rain beat down on my back as I leaned forward. Hot steam whipped across my face, making me jerk my head back and cough. Whatever was wrong with the engine, I knew I wouldn’t be able to figure it out in this weather. I could barely see past my own nose, let alone through all the rain and steam separating me from the truck’s engine.

  My frustration turned quickly to full-blown anger. I slammed the hood down and turned my back on the truck. There was nothing more important to me than taking care of Mila. When I couldn’t do that, I hated myself for it.

  At that moment, all I felt was rage. At my truck. At the rain. At myself. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I turned back around and squinted through the truck’s windshield. Mila was still curled in the same position. Her head was resting on the window again, and even from a distance, I could see she was shivering.

  I had to snap out of it. Getting angry wasn’t helping my daughter. It was only delaying things even more. I took a breath and ran back around to the driver’s side. I wrenched open the door and jumped inside.

  “You okay, honey?” I asked.

  Mila nodded but didn’t say anything. She was shaking.

  “Here,” I said. “I think I have a hoodie somewhere.”

  I rummaged under my seat until I found an old Army sweatshirt. It was torn in some places and hadn’t been washed in far too long, but it would help. I handed it to Mila and watched as she pulled it over her head.

  “Better?” I asked.

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  “Great.” I smiled and rubbed her arm. “I’ll be right back.”

  I popped the hood again and threw myself back into the rain. I needed to see if I could fix my truck or else we’d be stuck on the side of the road until someone could pick us up. I knew Samson would come, but I didn’t want to make Mila wait any longer.

  “Okay,” I said to myself. “What’s going on in here?”

  The steam had subsided slightly, so I could finally see down into the engine. I squinted around and fiddled with a few things, but I knew it was hopeless. I knew a lot about cars but without my tools, I was useless.

  Giving up, I ran back to the truck and pulled open the door again. My cell phone was sitting on the seat beside Mila. I tried to dry my hands as best as I could before picking it up. My entire body was soaked and frozen. If I wasn’t careful, I would get just as sick as Mila.

  “Who are you calling?” Mila asked.

  “Uncle Samson,” I said. “He’ll come pick us up and take us home.”

  “The truck is broken?” Mila asked.

  “For now,” I said. “I’ll try to fix it later, but right now, we just need to get you home.”

  I scrolled through my contacts until I found Samson’s name. My finger was poised over the call symbol when a pair of bright headlights caught my attention. I glanced to my right and saw a car slowing down. It pulled up right behind the truck. I squinted through the rain, but I couldn’t make out the car or the person inside.

  “Stay here,” I said to Mila.

  I stepped away from the truck and slammed the door shut behind me. I couldn’t tell who was in the car, and until I knew, I didn’t want Mila anywhere near the person.

  The driver’s side door opened slowly. Someone stepped out, but I still couldn’t see through the rain. After a few steps, I saw that it was a woman. When she got closer, I realized there was something vaguely familiar about her.

  It wasn’t until she stood right in front of me that I knew who it was. I would’ve recognized those green eyes anywhere. She stood in front of me with a slightly guarded expression, looking from me to the truck and then back again.

  “Alex,” I said.

  “Need some help?”

  12

  Alex

  Rain beat down on my car as I drove away from the shop. I’d taken a half day because my mother and Garret both insisted I needed a break. They were wrong, but it wasn’t worth an argument. My brain couldn’t turn itself off. Even when I was away from the shop, all I thought about was the shop.

  As I drove down the familiar roads toward home, it was no different. I dwelled on my financial problems and wondered how I could bring in more business. My thoughts were spinning so fast, I almost didn’t see the broken-down truck on the side of the road.

  I slowed down enough to see a man standing just inside the open driver’s side door. His head was bowed, and the rain was pounding against his back. He must have been freezing, but he didn’t show it. I pulled up behind the truck and squinted through the rain.

  Part of me wanted to keep driving. After all, whoever this guy was, his problems weren’t mine. I had enough to deal with on my own. But my mother’s voice echoed in my ears. She pushed me to have more compassion. She insisted I not judge others. I thought helping this guy might do that. I would feel better about myself and better about the conversation I’d had with my mom.

  I got out of my car slowly, letting the rain soak through my clothes quickly. The rain was falling so hard, I knew there was no fighting it. I embraced the cold and made my way toward the man and his truck. As I got closer, I realized there was something familiar about this man. I couldn’t yet see his face, but I felt like I knew him.

  He turned to face me, and I almost froze. I was right. I did know him.

  Declan Gamble.

  My thoughts stood still as my feet continued to move. The last interaction I’d had with Declan was when I attacked him in the Gamble Realty office. I never thought I would see him again.

  And yet, there he was. On the side of the road. With a broken-down truck.

  “Alex,” he said when I reached him.

  “Need some help?” I asked.

  Declan just stared at me. He’d done the same thing when he came to the shop. That day, Samson did all the talking, and Declan had taken everything in with stoic silence. At the time, I thought it was attractive. Later, I thought it made him a dick. Now, I didn’t know what to think.

  I expected Declan to shake his head and send me on my way. He struck me as the kind of man who would scoff at a woman’s offer for help. I was wrong.

  “Yeah,” Declan said with an earnest nod. “I really do.”

  “Pop the hood,” I said. “Let me take a look.”

  Declan reached into the truck and pulled the lever. He said something I couldn’t hear over the rain, and then he closed the door and followed me around to the front of the truck.

  We peered under the hood, Declan standing slightly farther back.

  “I tried to figure it out myself,” Declan said. “But it was no use without my tools. Plus, this damn rain isn’t helping.”

  “I’ve got tools in my car,” I said. “I’ll be right back.”

  “I can grab them,” Declan said.

  “Trunk,” I said simply.

  He nodded and jogged over to my car. I lost track of his footsteps as the rain fell harder than ever. If I hadn’t spent my entire life around engines, there was no way I could have helped. The rain made it damn near impossible to see, and the truck’s engine was one I hadn’t worked on before.

  Still, it didn’t take me long to figure out the problem.

  By the time Declan returned with my toolbox, I was taking off my over shirt to use it as a rag. Declan’s eyes flew wide as he watched me. His eyes flickered to my tank top and then quickly back up to my eyes.

  I ignored him and wrapped my shirt around the bolt I needed to loosen. With one quick yank, I got it off.

  “What is it?” Declan asked.

  “Easy fix,” I said. “For now, anyway. You’ll need to take it in when you can. It should be checked over, but I can get you home at least. Or, wherever you’re headed.”

  “Home,” Declan confirmed.

  I nodded and kept working on the engine. While I worked, Declan stood beside me and watched. There were a few times I thought he wanted to say something, but he stopped himself. I tried not to let my mind run away with me. Instead, I kept my head ducked and my mind focused o
n the engine.

  It was easy to slip into my usual routine. Fixing engines was my job. It was my calling. The one thing I could do better than almost anyone else.

  “Thank you for this,” Declan finally said. “I was just about to call my brother to pick us up.”

  “No problem.” I shrugged. “Like I said, it’s an easy fix.”

  “For you.” Declan chuckled.

  “Well, I do own a repair shop.”

  The words were out of my mouth before I thought better of them. Declan tensed beside me, and my own shoulders tightened. We were both remembering my angry rant.

  Luckily, we were saved from the awkwardness as the rain finally slowed to a drizzle. I looked up at the sky. It already looked blue again.

  “That was fast,” I said.

  “Daddy?” A small voice called from the truck.

  I jerked my head up to see a tiny head poke itself out of the passenger side window. The little girl couldn’t have been more than five or six. She had wild red hair that flew all around her face. Her eyes looked tired, and her cheeks were flushed.

  Declan hurried over to her. He put his hand on her forehead and then smoothed her hair down before turning back to me.

  “This is Mila,” he said. “My daughter.”

  I smiled and walked over to them. Mila looked at me with wide, curious eyes. The look she gave me was not at all nervous. I could tell she was sick, but she stared at me with a fierce boldness that I’d never seen in someone so young.

  “Mila,” Declan said. “This is Alex. She’s fixing the truck for us.”

  “Hi,” I said. “Nice to meet you.”

  “You too,” Mila said. “You can fix it?”

  I nodded. “Almost done.”

  “Daddy couldn’t fix it,” she said simply.

  Declan laughed and ruffled her hair playfully. He turned to whisper something to her while I got back to work. When he joined me, he was smiling and shaking his head.

  “She’s a little spitfire, isn’t she?” I asked.

  “You have no idea.” Declan smiled wider. “She’s sick, though. I just picked her up from school. I was trying to get her home when the truck broke down.”

  “I’ll hurry,” I said.

  “No,” Declan said quickly. “I didn’t mean that. I just really appreciate your help. I was worried about her getting too cold with the rain and -”

  He trailed off as if he wasn’t quite sure what else to say. It was strange. This was a side to Declan that I hadn’t seen before. The silent stoicism. The argumentative businessman. Both were things I’d witnessed firsthand, but the worried father? That was new.

  I didn’t know what to think, so I just worked faster. Mila may have been a bold little thing, but it was obvious she felt like crap. She looked about ready to pass out when she poked her head out of that window.

  “Can you hand me that wrench?” I asked, pointing down at my open toolbox.

  “Sure thing.” Declan scooped it up and handed it to me.

  I tightened a couple bolts while he stood with his hands in his pockets, peering over my shoulder. I could tell it wasn’t easy for him to be idle, which was made more obvious when he started pacing back and forth.

  “Can I help?” he finally asked.

  “Almost done,” I said.

  “You sure?” he asked. “Because I don’t mind.”

  “It’s really a one-person job,” I said.

  “Okay.”

  “You don’t like having a woman help you, do you?” I asked.

  “It’s not a woman thing,” he said.

  “No?” I raised my eyebrows.

  “No.” He shook his head. “It’s an anyone thing.”

  “Ah,” I said. “Independent?”

  “More than you can imagine.”

  I nodded and finished up. I wiped my hands on my already grease-stained shirt and turned to face Declan.

  “Done,” I said.

  “Really?” Declan peered at the engine.

  “Fire it up.”

  He hurried around the truck and opened his door. I took a step back as he cranked the engine, and it roared back to life. I grinned and slammed the hood shut.

  “Thank you,” Declan said. “Seriously, thank you.”

  “No problem.” I shrugged. “Get her home.”

  Declan nodded and climbed behind the wheel. He waited until I’d put away my toolbox and gotten in my car before he pulled away. I could see him watching me in his side mirror. Once I was safely inside my car, he waved and pulled back onto the main road.

  I watched his truck until it disappeared. It was still drizzling but barely. The sky was a brilliant blue, the way it always was just after a rainstorm. I blinked up at it through my windshield and leaned back against my seat. I felt like I was in a dream.

  Declan had a daughter, a little girl who he worried about and loved. I barely knew him, and yet, it felt so strange to imagine him as a father. The man I thought he was wasn’t at all the fatherly type. But then again, maybe my mother was right. Maybe there were things about Declan that I didn’t know. Things I couldn’t even begin to imagine.

  As I turned my car on and drove home, I thought about how loving Declan was. The way he stroked Mila’s hair and gently checked her temperature. How worried he was about her being sick. How grateful he was for my help. I replayed everything in my head until I made it home and for hours after.

  When I went to bed that night, he was still on my mind. I saw his face through the rain. I saw Mila sitting in the truck. I saw Declan peering at me through the truck’s side mirror. It was like my brain was determined to remember every single detail. It felt important somehow.

  For the hundredth time that day, I heard my mom’s voice in my head. She told me that Declan’s cold personality wasn’t all there was. She knew, without ever having met him, that I should give him the benefit of the doubt. As always, my mother’s wisdom far outweighed my own.

  I felt guilty for judging Declan so quickly. I was ashamed of myself, but more than that, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Wanting to see him again. To talk to him. Maybe get to know more things about him. Things that would surprise me just as much as him being a father.

  I lay in bed that night and stared at my ceiling. I pictured Declan as he was hours before. His clothes were dripping with rainwater, clinging to his muscular body. I wasn’t just interested in getting to know Declan, I was attracted to him. Seeing the outline of his abs through his dress shirt was enough to send shivers down my spine. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I’d committed that image to memory.

  I shook myself before my thoughts could go too far. It didn’t matter that Declan was hot. It didn’t matter that he was a kind, loving father. None of it mattered because I wasn’t looking for romance. I’d survived my entire life without a man. I’d made it to my late twenties still a virgin. Having a man in my life was not something I needed. Ever.

  13

  Declan

  Mila slept through the afternoon and all night. I checked her temperature while she slept, waking her up when she needed more Tylenol. By the time the sun rose, I was exhausted. I’d been up and down all night, unable to sleep because I was worried Mila might need me. She woke up that morning with her hair covering most of her face and her eyes bright red.

  I helped her take a bath and then put her into warm pajamas. Her fever hadn’t yet broken, so I tucked her into bed and brought her breakfast.

  “I get to eat in bed?” she asked, her eyes widening with surprise.

  “The rules don’t apply when you’re sick,” I said simply.

  She bucked up almost immediately. A wide smile spread across her face as she propped herself up with her pillows. I put the tray over her legs and sat with her while she ate her toast and drank her orange juice.

  “How does your stomach feel?” I asked.

  “It still hurts,” Mila said.

  “Is the toast helping?” I asked.

  “Not rea…”
>
  Mila didn’t get to finish her sentence before what little bit she ate came back up. I whisked the tray away from her and carried her to the bathroom. She got sick a few more times, tears sliding down her cheeks. When she was done, she was even paler than before.

  I washed her off and carried her back to bed. She snuggled under the covers and rested her head against her pillow. She could barely hold her eyes open. I sat with her until she drifted off to sleep and for a while after. I couldn’t bring myself to leave her alone.

  “Daddy?” she woke up after a few minutes.

  “What is it?” I asked. “What do you need, honey?”

  “Water,” she said.

  Her throat was scratchy from throwing up. I nodded and hurried into the kitchen. When I got back with her water, she was passed out again. I smiled and brushed her hair out of her face. After putting the water on her bedside table, I sat down on the edge of her bed to watch her sleep.

  I stayed there until the doorbell rang downstairs. Frowning, I pulled Mila’s door slightly closed and hurried downstairs. Samson was standing just outside the front door, waving at me through the window.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked when I opened the door.

  He held up a grocery bag and headed straight to the kitchen. I listened for a second to make sure Mila was still asleep, and then I followed him.

  “Brought Mila some soup and stuff,” he said. He put the bag on the counter and unpacked a few cans of soup, a two liter of Sprite, and a box of crackers.

  “Thanks,” I said. “You didn’t have to do that.”

  Samson shrugged. “Just wanted to check on her. How’s she feeling?”

  “Like ass,” I said. “She’s had a fever on and off since yesterday, and she just threw up about an hour ago.”

  “Damn,” Samson said, shaking his head. “Poor thing.”