Billion Dollar Man Read online

  The call went straight to voice mail.

  “Hey,” I said, trying to think on my feet. “I’m sorry I never got back to you. I was barely functioning this morning when I was called into the hospital to cover an emergency shift. I only got off now. Sorry about that. We’ll talk soon. I hope your day was better than mine.”

  I hung up, hoping the message had been casual enough after what had happened between us. I wanted to have that talk about the kiss, but at the same time, I didn’t. I had no idea what to expect, and that made me nervous, but as long as we didn’t talk about it, he couldn’t reject me.

  And I liked that idea more.

  I put my car into gear and pulled out of the parking lot. The night was beautiful with clear skies that showed the stars and crisp air. I rolled down my window and breathed in. After seeing the car crash victims, or any other patients that barely managed to hold onto their lives, I realized how lucky I was to be alive.

  Chapter 9

  Ben

  Sunday had been a fuckup. I had been so hungover, I hadn’t been able to function. My head had felt like it was going to explode, and I had spent half the day hugging the toilet, vomiting out everything my stomach contained even after there was nothing left to get rid of. It was a lesson in self-control if I’d ever had one.

  Moderation. I should have tried some.

  I had texted Mila in the morning, but she hadn’t replied. That kiss had been bouncing around in my mind since the moment I had woken up, and I had felt like a bastard for doing that to her when we obviously couldn’t be more.

  I didn’t even know if she felt anything for me. The passionate response I had gotten from her could very well have been the alcohol speaking. God knows she’d had as much as I’d had.

  And if she was in any kind of physical shape as I was, she would have suffered as much too. Judging by her spectacular body, she was in great shape, which meant we had both been suffering.

  I had been such an idiot drinking so much. I had known it would come back and bite me in the ass, but I was an asshole and I never learned. No matter how many times I told myself I was never going to get shitfaced again, I always did it at least one more time before making the same promise again.

  When I woke up on Monday morning, I felt so much better. I had gone to bed early to be in top condition again before heading to the firehouse, and I had drunk so much water, I had nearly drowned myself.

  But it had worked.

  When I switched on my phone, I received a missed call from Mila. So, she had responded. Not right away but nevertheless. I had thought maybe she didn’t want to speak to me at all. I had wondered if she was pissed off at me about that kiss. I listened to the voice mail she had left me. She sounded normal. Tired and stressed but not angry.

  That was a good sign, right?

  I wanted to call her back, but I wasn’t sure I was going to reach her. I had no idea what her schedule looked like, but I remembered her saying something about working today. She would be busy, then. So, I texted her instead.

  It’s not a big deal, I hope this week will be better for you. I went to bed early last night. Sorry I missed you. Let’s meet for dinner tomorrow if you’re not busy.

  I read the text three times before I sent it. Then, I kicked myself for giving a shit how it was going to come across. I had never cared before. This girl was messing with my head. In the best way.

  After showering and getting dressed, I climbed into my truck and headed to the station to save lives and talk shit with the guys who were very quickly becoming closer to me than brothers.

  “You look like shit,” Tyler said when I walked into the kitchen at the station.

  “Fuck you, man. I’m handsome as hell.”

  The men all laughed. Sam sat down, and Jay was at the stove for a change.

  “What’s wrong, Sammy? Did the stove get the better of you?” I asked.

  “No. Jay threatened to fight me if I cooked at all this shift.”

  “So you just gave it up?”

  “Jay is a big motherfucker. No way I’m taking him on,” Sam said.

  “Pussy,” Tyler quipped, and Sam threw the salt shaker at him. Tyler caught it.

  “If that broke, it’s seven years of bad luck.”

  “That’s a mirror, you idiot.”

  “Whatever,” Tyler said, and we all laughed again.

  I liked being with the boys. The firehouse had become a second home to me, and bantering back and forth with men I knew would have my back no matter what was like food for the soul.

  We weren’t at the station together for an hour when the alarms went off. We all jumped up and ran to get into our gear. In less than a minute, we were all dressed and headed to the truck. Ted was already there.

  “It’s a warehouse outside of town,” he said. “I just got the call. They’ve been fighting this fire for a couple of hours now with no signs of it stopping. We’re the third station they’re calling out to help.”

  That was all we needed to know. When we were in position on the truck, Ted floored it out of the firehouse, and we headed out of town.

  When we got there, the warehouse was like a raging monster with flames and smoke billowing out of broken windows and gaping doors. It was so hot, we could feel it where we parked. Firemen from all over town were already stationed around the warehouse with hoses and white spray that seemed to be doing nothing to the fire that raged inside the building.

  “We need teams to get in there,” one of the other lieutenants on site said, coming to us. “We just heard there might be workers still trapped inside, and we can’t take any chances.”

  We joined a group of other firefighters, and Ted divided us up into groups of three. I was going in with two other guys I didn’t know, but when it came to doing our duty, we were all connected to each other.

  “Let’s get in there,” Ted shouted, and we ran toward the building. At the last minute, Ted called me back.

  “Let Jonas over there go in. I need your expertise here.”

  I nodded, and the guy called Jonas ran in with the other two guys. I had studied fire engineering, and Ted needed me to brainstorm a way to vent the wire on the one side and draw it toward the oxygen we gave it so it was safe for the men to start fighting it on the other side.

  I was explaining to Ted that a fire could consume itself if left alone for long enough when shouts from inside were heard, followed by a loud crash.

  “Shit,” Ted said, and we both ran. I watched as the building collapsed in front of me, one half crumpling like it was made of paper.

  “How many are still in there?” Ted shouted.

  “Three,” came the reply, and I could taste the fear.

  “Any civilians?”

  “Negative.”

  Shit. They were ours.

  The firemen turned their attention to the three men inside, forgetting about the fire for the moment. Ambulances were already on scene, and EMTs were on standby, ready to take care of anyone coming out.

  “We found them!” Tyler shouted from inside. He had gone in with Sam and Jay to retrieve the men. “We’re coming out.”

  I sagged in relief.

  The first two men who were brought out had burn wounds and a few scrapes. It was the two that I would have gone in with. Their faces were contorted with pain, and the EMTs jumped in right away. I turned my attention back to the building. I would have been in there if Ted hadn’t called me back. It should have been me. Jonas was still in there, and I hoped to God he was okay. If he wasn’t, it would be on me.

  “Last one coming,” Tyler called, and he brought Jonas out over his shoulder. My stomach dropped when he put Jonas down, and the limp body flopped to the floor. The burns on his face were severe, and his leg bent at an angle that was completely wrong.

  “Is he breathing?” I asked in a voice that was too shaky.

  The EMTs took over, and they had to stabilize him, giving him oxygen right away.

  “We have to get these guys to a hospit
al as soon as possible. We’ll take them to Providence Portland. Call ahead and get the ER prepped.”

  I nodded. I could do that. I pulled out my phone and did exactly as I was told.

  “Go with them,” Ted said. Maybe he knew I had to know they were safe. If Jonas would be all right. “We’ve got this.”

  I wriggled out of my uniform before I climbed into an ambulance with Jonas. The whole way, I was terrified he was going to die. If he died and I lived, it would be unfair. It would be a sick joke. It would be hell.

  “It should have been me,” I said to no one in particular. “I was going to go up there, and I was pulled out last minute. I should be on that gurney.”

  The EMT was suddenly in my face. “Open this for me,” he said, handing me a packet of gauze.

  I took it from him and did as he asked. Having something to do strangely calmed me down. I realized I had been freaking out, panicking. The shock was setting in, and the last thing they needed was to babysit me. I opened one packet after the other, watching as they carefully patched up Jonas’s face and neck and splinted the leg that had broken so badly.

  By the time we arrived at the hospital, I could think straight again, but chaos reigned in the ER. There were people everywhere. Some of them were covered in soot, some of them wheezing and coughing, and many of them had light burns. It was nothing serious, but I realized where everyone had been taken before we had been called in. They were all here, getting medical attention.

  Jonas was wheeled through, bumped up to get immediate attention, and I couldn’t follow him to where they were taking him. A nurse stopped me.

  “Where are they taking him?” I asked.

  “They’re going to take care of him before they take him to ICU. Are you a relative?”

  I shook my head. “It should have been me.”

  The nurse frowned, looking unsure.

  “I need you to take a seat, please,” she said. “Someone will find you once he’s stabilized.”

  I did as she asked, but it was impossible to sit and do nothing. I had to get back to the warehouse and help the boys, but I couldn’t focus on the fire when I was worried about Jonas, and I would be no good to them if I would put myself in danger. I wanted to find out what was going on with Jonas. Twice, I went to the reception desk and asked them what was happening, but no one could tell me. The paperwork hadn’t been filled out yet. They were still fighting to save his life.

  What if they lost? What if Jonas died?

  I felt like I was going to lose my mind. I didn’t know what was going on. I couldn’t do anything to find out, and I couldn’t go back to do my job. I was a mess, and I hated it. Everywhere around me, patients were suffering various degrees of pain because of the fire, and I sat there, completely unharmed because I had been called back.

  How was I supposed to know what was going on? I had to find out somehow. The nurse had said Jonas would be moved to the ICU once they took care of him. Once he was in there, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to see him.

  Unless I was family or something.

  Or if I had someone on the inside. I knew it was wrong to use my friendship—or whatever it was—for personal gain, but I had to know that Jonas was okay. So, I took out my phone and called Mila.

  Chapter 10

  Mila

  On Tuesday, we had our hands full with burn patients that had come in a steady stream from a warehouse fire just outside of town. I had seen burn victims before, but some of them were in a bad state, and Claire and I helped out in the ER where the nurses had their hands full. We were in the back, handling the worst cases.

  When a firefighter came in looking like he should have been dead, my heart stopped for a moment. He looked almost like Ben. Or least, the dark hair did. The rest of his face was burned severely.

  “Who is this?” I asked Claire breathlessly.

  “Jonas Murray,” Claire read the tag on the suit, and I could breathe again. It wasn’t Ben. I knew that being a firefighter wasn’t a safe desk job, but seeing this man so mangled and burned was an eye-opener. It was thanks to fighters like this guy and Ben that all the people in the ER were alive.

  “What happened to him?” I asked.

  “The EMT said a warehouse collapsed on him in a fire. He’s lucky to be alive. I spoke to the guy who came with him outside, but he’s a mess, babbling about being the one who should have been here.”

  I shook my head. “It’s gotta be tough to see your colleagues go in and maybe not come out again.”

  We worked fast, setting the patient’s leg and treating his burn wounds as best we could. He would never look the same again, and it would hurt like a bitch for a long time to come, but he would live. His lungs had some damage, but we could handle that. The broken leg would heal too.

  When he was finally stable, I pushed him through to the ICU ward and made sure the nurses were checking on him. I was on my way back to the ER when my phone rang. I usually didn’t have it on me, but I had kept it on me in case something else went wrong and they needed to get a hold of me.

  It was Ben. I didn’t answer calls unrelated to business when I was busy, but I had to know that he was okay.

  “Is he okay?” Ben asked. He sounded awful.

  “Who?”

  “Jonas. Is he okay?”

  “He’s okay,” I said. “Where are you?”

  “In the ER. I’m losing my mind, Mila. It should have been me.”

  Shit. The guy who brought Jonas in was Ben.

  “I’m coming,” I said and hung up.

  I hurried to the ER. Ben sat in one of the plastic seats, and he looked terrible. His eyes were red, either from smoke or crying, and his face looked dragged down by the guilt he was feeling. When I walked to him, he stood up and folded me against his body, his arms wrapped so tightly around me as if he was sinking, and I was the buoy to hold him up.

  “He’s going to be okay,” I said. “He’s stable. He’s hurting, but he’s going to be okay.”

  Ben nodded his head on my shoulder, and we stood like that for a while before he finally let me go.

  “I’m sorry,” he said in a voice that was hoarse.

  “Don’t be,” I said. “Come with me.”

  The ER had calmed down a little, and I knew I could take a quick break. I led Ben to the cafeteria and ordered coffee. When it came, I emptied four packets of sugar into it and stirred. It wasn’t exactly healthy, but Ben needed the sugar for the shock.

  “It should have been me,” Ben said again when I handed him the coffee. He took a sip. “I was supposed to go into the warehouse. I was the third guy on the team. My lieutenant called me back at the last second to ask me about the fire, and Jonas went in my place. I would have been up there when the warehouse collapsed if Ted hadn’t called me back.”

  “You’re lucky,” I said. “You were spared.”

  Ben shook his head. “That’s not how I see it. Someone else got hurt instead of me.” He took a deep breath and let it out in a shudder. “I feel so guilty.”

  “I know why you feel guilty,” I said and reached across the table, taking Ben’s hand. But you can’t beat yourself up about this. Did you know the warehouse was going to collapse? Did you decide to send someone else in your place?”

  “Well, no.”

  “Did you send them in there for no reason?”

  “They said there were more workers up there who couldn’t get out.”

  “So, you were doing your job. And you were called back by someone else. And you didn’t know the warehouse was going to collapse.”

  Ben nodded.

  “It’s not your fault, Ben. Sometimes, things change. Sometimes, we make last-minute decisions. If you look back and wonder how it would have been different, you’ll drive yourself crazy. It will eat you alive. Trust me, I know.”

  “It’s already eating at me,” Ben said.

  “I know what it’s like. It’s happened to me before where I thought ‘if only I’d given him a shot or checked on him ear
lier, maybe it would have changed things.’ But you can’t change the way things are, and you can’t blame yourself for something that was out of your control.”

  Ben took another shaky breath and nodded.

  “You’re right,” he said.

  He sipped the coffee, and I held his free hand.

  “I’m glad you’re safe,” I said softly. “I know how you feel, but I was terrified you were hurt when Jonas first came in.”

  I hadn’t realized how scared I had been for Ben’s life until I spoke those words.

  “Thank you,” Ben said. “For being here for me.”

  “Of course. If anyone understands, it’s me.”

  “When will we know he’s okay?” Ben asked. “And the others? God, I didn’t even ask about them.”

  “Two other nurses took care of the firefighters but that will be quick to find out. I’ll let you know as soon as I get back to the ICU.”

  Ben and I sat in silence once more while he drank his sweet coffee.

  When Ben’s coffee was finished, and I had taken about as much time as I was able from the ER, we headed back. I let Ben tag along with me even though it wasn’t technically allowed. He stayed out of the way of the other nurses. I took him to see Jonas.

  When Ben saw Jonas, the emotion was raw on his face. He walked to Jonas’s bed. He didn’t touch the man, which was a good call. Jonas’s wounds were extensive.

  “I’m so sorry,” Ben whispered. My heart went out to Ben. Not only did I feel for Jonas who would be in excruciating pain the moment he woke up, but I felt for Ben whose heart ached more than anyone I had ever seen before. I was worried about how he was reacting to this. I hoped he would deal with it soon, or it could become a problem.

  “Can I take you to see the others?” I offered.

  Ben nodded. “Please.”

  We walked to the first room. The firefighter was awake, but he was intubated. His eyes went to Ben and an expression crossed his face that I couldn’t read.

  “How are you feeling, man?” Ben asked.