Breaking the Rules Read online

  I pulled his hand down from my face carefully. Nothing too dramatic. We didn't need it. "Dr. Lewis took me in his office yesterday and asked that you come to dinner soon. His wife's cancer treatments aren't going as well as they hoped. I think he's hurting more than he's letting on. I know you became good friends with him during your mother's battle with MS."

  He slipped his hands into his pockets as he studied me. "Come with me. You'll love Nate and Denise when you really get to know them."

  "And he and I talked about me entering into a master's program so that I could move into medicine and start my residency." I forced a warm smile, hating myself for pretending in front of him that everything was fine. He was the only man I wanted to be completely open with.

  His eyes widened and he reached up, running his hand through his messy brown hair. The dark-rimmed glasses he wore seemed to make him more stunning, as if that were possible. "Here at UT?"

  "No. In New York." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "I think being with Olivia for a few years would be good for me." I glanced around, feeling so out of place. "You know? Something new and different. Away from my family."

  "Away from me." He dropped his hand and took a step back. "I'll call Nate tomorrow. Thanks for the invite from him. It breaks my heart to know that his wife is dying." He rubbed his chest, never taking his eyes off of me. "Although some part of me knows exactly how it feels to lose everything."

  "You mean my sister?" I pursed my lips as my eyes burned with unshed tears.

  "No." He moved into the kitchen, forcing me back. The command in his voice left every part of me alert, ready for anything.

  "Don't do this." I lifted my hands as he closed the kitchen door and crashed into me full force, lifting me off my feet and pinning me to the wall. The firm press of his thick body was almost too much.

  "I mean you and you know I do." He brushed his lips by mine and ran his strong hands down my sides, gripping the back of my thighs and forcing me to wrap my legs around him.

  I was liquid heat with nothing more than a look from him. I wouldn't survive him making me feel loved, important, special.

  "Please let me down." I wrapped my arms around his neck and ran my fingers up the back of his head as he ground against me and groaned. "I can't do this, Kendal. I don't know how I feel."

  His hot mouth pressed to the side of my neck as he rolled his hips, massaging my center with the thickness of his erection. "I know how you feel, baby. Like heaven, Dana. I don't miss your sister. She's not in my life anymore and hasn't been for a very long time."

  "But you loved her." I whispered against his neck as I tightened my thighs around his waist. I needed him buried deep inside of me, to feel his hands all over me. I needed to get away or all thoughts would be useless. He'd win me over with nothing more than the need to be pinned to a bed beneath him.

  "And I love you now. More. So much more. I was an idiot back then, and the sad thing is that she didn't love me. She never would have left if she did." He ran his nose up the side of my neck and licked at my ear as I groaned.

  "But if she would have stayed beside you, then what?"

  He stiffened against me. He would be with her. It was that easy. And he and I would be family.

  "Please put me down." I pushed at his chest as best I could.

  He moved back and I slid down the front of his body, the sensation almost more than I could bear. "Dana, that's not fair. I wasn't looking for love when I found you. You know that."

  "Because you were still hurting over her."

  He glanced down and let out a long painful sound. "What do I need to do to make this up to you?"

  "I don't know." I reached up and brushed away the few tears that had fallen onto my cheeks. I felt so weak, so stupid. I wanted to belong to him, but did he see Ana when he saw me? No. She was so much prettier than I was. He'd have to close his eyes to pretend to be with her, and even then, it would be impossible. She was thin and I was-

  "Dana. Look at me." He reached out and cupped my face. "I didn't know she was your sister. I would have told you if I did. I opened myself up to you and told you how badly she hurt me. I've never shared the depths of that with anyone."

  I nodded. He was right. He had bared his soul to me, but at that moment, I'd almost wished he hadn't. The pain on his face, in his voice that night when he talked about the one who got away was horrible. But now she wasn't faceless.

  She was my damn sister!

  "But you don't have to hurt." I couldn't believe the words pouring out of my mouth. "She's here and single. You should go to her and pick up where you left off."

  His face dropped as he lowered his hands and stepped back. "What? Is that what you want? For me to be with your sister?"

  "Is that what you want?" My breath caught in my chest. "Because I can't be a part of that. I don't even know why I just said it. I need to go. I'm not Ana. I can't be. She's... she's so much more." I moved past him as the room spun in front of me. "I'm sorry. I can't be her."

  "Dana!" He called after me, but I found myself sprinting toward the door.

  Why did I come here? What did I expect?

  Chapter 7

  Kendal

  The rest of the evening was a blur. I didn't even have the balls to text or call her after we finally shut everything down. Bethany cornered me as we were working through clean up and asked where Dana had been all night. I lied and said she was sick and had to go home. Something she ate.

  My thoughts raced from showing up on her doorstep, to asking Ana to help me, to moving to another country and giving up on having love in my life.

  I didn't want Ana or any other woman. I wanted my woman.

  After sleeping like shit that night, I woke up just before sunrise and changed into jogging clothes. I needed to release some of the pent-up frustration tearing me apart. Dana wasn't going to be mine again. It wasn't as simple as showing her how much I wanted her. She didn't seem to buy that shit, though there was a moment the night before where I could feel how much she wanted me too.

  But she wasn't going to move past me and Ana. And I really couldn't blame her.

  Anger burned through my belly at the stupid mistakes of my past that were still wrecking my future. There was no rest in sight for me in the pursuit to belong to someone, to connect so deeply with someone that losing them fully destroyed me.

  I was a pussy for wanting that kind of relationship with a woman. It didn't exist. Disgust for my thoughts pushed me harder, and I forced myself to sprint the next three miles, stopping only when I felt like my lungs might explode.

  The grassy field I dropped down into was cold and wet, the dew sticking to the back of my arms and coating my legs. I heaved loudly, trying to get air into my lungs as quickly as possible.

  "You know... the glasses are a bad idea, but you wearing a tight t-shirt and jogging shorts is way worse." I laughed and sat up as Eliza stopped on the sidewalk in front of me and put her hands on her hips. "You should find another campus to jog on. Too many students know and covet you."

  "I’m beginning to think you're the one coveting me. If you want a date, just ask for it." I got up and brushed my legs off as she chuckled.

  "You're not nearly that lucky."

  I glanced up. "You're not telling me anything new."

  Her smile faded. "Last night didn't go so well?"

  "Nope. I invited Dana to help me chaperon the Beta Alpha Psi event, and we had a conversation in the kitchen before it really got going and she left a few minutes after that. Seems like she wants me back with her sister."

  "Wait. I don't know this story. We're not that good of friends."

  I snorted. "You're pretty much my only friend on campus."

  "Well then. Let's go have coffee and you tell me the rest of the story. Maybe I can help." She tilted her head to the side and watched me. She was a great mentor and a good friend. I could spare an hour of spilling my guts to her. It's not like Damon would want to hear me crying over the fact that none of
my efforts had worked with Dana thus far.

  "Alright, but I'm a little sweaty. I decided to run until my chest didn't hurt anymore." I wiped at my brow and moved up beside her as we walked toward one of the many coffee shops on the edge of campus.

  "Just don't touch me with that hand and we're good." She crossed her arms over her chest and breathed in deeply. A look of serenity moved across her face. "You're dating sisters? Did I get that right?"

  I laughed. "No. I know I don't necessarily look like one of the good guys."

  "No, you don't." She gave me a sideways glance and smiled. "But I know better. You are a good man. You just have shitty judgment."

  "Thank you?" I reached out and opened the door for her as the smell of coffee rushed up to greet us. "I'll grab us something and you get a table. What can I get you?"

  "Non-fat latte. Small with two sugars and ten pumps of peppermint." She wagged her eyebrows and turned, walking across the coffee shop.

  I ignored the perky red-head who flirted the entire time I was in front of her, got our drinks and made a bee-line for Eliza. She was people-watching out the window from what I could tell.

  "Here you go. They said to put a warning label on the cup. That much peppermint has the power to make anyone holly jolly." I smiled as she chuckled.

  "Tell me about this girl," she cleared her throat and lifted one eyebrow, "and her sister."

  After taking a quick sip of my drink, I leaned back in my chair. "Remember six years ago when I was dating Ana?"

  "Your student?"

  "Yes. This is her sister." I ran my hand down my face, hating the way she was looking at me like I was an idiot.

  "Wow." She pressed her fingers to her mouth and sat in silence for what seemed like forever. "So, are you still in love with this Ana girl, or with her sister?"

  "Her sister, Dana. I didn't know they were sisters."

  "You have the worst luck of any man I know."

  "Yes, thank you. I'm aware." I pulled my phone out and sat it on the table next to us. "I met Dana at the hospital. She's one of the nurses who was taking care of my sister Mandy before she died."

  "Ahhh..." Eliza picked up her drink. "Keep going. Please. This is better than daytime television."

  "You don't watch that stuff." I scoffed.

  "You'd be surprised. Don't let the old lady hair fool you." She smirked before taking a drink of her coffee. "Mmmm... perfect."

  "Good." I glanced down at my phone. "I didn't know they were sisters, so when Dana invited me out to have dinner at her mother's house-"

  "Oh, no." Her voice dropped. "Please don't tell me that your ex-lover showed up and the three of you and her mother figured this out all at the same time."

  "Yeah. That's about how it happened. I freaked out and faked a call from Damon, tucking tail and running as fast as I could. She took it that I was overwhelmed by seeing Ana after six years."

  "Were you?"

  "No." I reached out and brushed my fingers down the front of the phone absently. "I mean, I was in shock for sure, but overwhelmed? No. I'm in love with Dana. I want her to be the mother of my children, my partner in life. Hell, I was thinking about leaving UT for her."

  "Wait. Why would you have to leave UT?"

  I glanced up, hating how dirty it made me feel to break the rules. "She's a nursing student, and is a double major in business."

  "Oh, no. Kendal. Please tell me she's not in one of your classes."

  "No, but she was going to take one next semester. When I found out, she dropped the class and I backed up. Remember, I met her at the fucking hospital. I didn't know." I flinched. "Sorry for the language."

  "No, it's fine. It's the weekend and we're not professors. Here, we're just friends."

  "Thank you. I need a friend right now. I have no clue how to fix this. I've been running from women for six years, and now I'm supposed to run to one?" I growled softly under my breath.

  "So, don't run to her? Just move on with your life."

  I laughed. "As if that's possible. She's all I think about, Eliza. I honestly think I'm going to blow the cap on all this shit with Heather and Mark and then put in my resignation. My career defines me and it's holding me back from being with the one woman I want in my life."

  "As I see it, you have three choices." She picked up her drink and blew on it as she watched me closely. "You wanna hear my thoughts?"

  "Of course I do. I respect you greatly."

  "And I you. You've persevered beyond what most people would. You've earned your stripes at the college, Kendal. It's taken a lot from you though. Maybe it's time to consider moving on."

  "That one of the options?" I leaned back and picked up my coffee, enjoying the warmth of it in my hand.

  "Yes. Step up and talk to Lance about Mark and Heather and then resign. That way you and the girl can be together."

  "This is assuming she'll even talk to me again."

  "She will. Stop worrying about that." She rolled her eyes. "Just put on your Clark Kent glasses and tell her what you just told me."

  "That I love her?"

  "Exactly. She'd be a fool for not listening if you're being open and honest with your heart. If she closes you down in that moment, then she's not meant for you."

  "Alright. The other two options?"

  "Walk away from her and continue to work toward your tenure. Find another woman outside of the university and start building a life with her."

  "Not happening." I shook my head. "If I'm not with Dana, I'm taking a really long break from trying again. It hurts too much."

  "I understand that." She took a sip of her coffee and smiled. "And the third option, and the most mature of all is to keep your job and tell the girl you love her, but you'll have to wait until she graduates, which is when?"

  "May." I nodded. "You're right. Either way I look at this, I owe her the truth. She needs to know how I feel."

  "Yes, she gets to make the decision on whether she thinks that love is authentic and valid."

  "And if she doesn't?" I already knew the answer.

  "Then you have to let her go. Sometimes loving people means releasing them when they don't have the strength or the wherewithal to love you back."

  "I don't like that option."

  She chuckled. "No one does. So, choose one of the other ones."

  I nodded and settled into my seat as she started to talk about her husband. Their love affair was as up and down as mine and Dana's had been, but they'd celebrated decades of marriage together. That's all I wanted with her. To give myself to her fully and have her love me as deeply as she could.

  I needed to tell her the truth. There's nothing I wouldn't have done for her. If leaving UT would prove it, then fuck it. I was as good as gone.

  "This was fun. We should do it again sometime." Eliza's voice brought me from planning my speech in my head.

  "It was." I stood up and gave her a quick hug. "I'll see you on Monday?"

  "You sure will. Make a decision and move on it quickly. Love never waits for the slackers, Kendal. Both of you will have a million thoughts until you settle this, and I can promise you one thing. None of them will be good ones."

  "You're right. Thank you for your time. For listening to me." I walked her to the door and smiled as she turned and wished me luck.

  I was three miles from home, but jogging again sounded like the right action. I wanted to get back home, shower and call Dana. She and I were talking - tonight. Whether she liked it or not.

  My heart was racing by the time I approached my house, but I slowed at the end of the driveway to have some semblance of a cool down. I pulled my phone out and shot off a text to Dana.

  Me: I don't know what happened the other night, but it did not go like I planned. My house. Tonight at 7pm. Be here so we can clear this up. I need you to know everything and if you want to walk after that... fine, but not before.

  Dana: I'll be there.

  "Good," I mumbled and glanced up to see a light grey accord sitting in my dri
veway. I didn't know anyone with a-

  "Kendal. I'm sorry to just show up, but I need to talk to you. Do you have a minute?"

  Ana. Of course it was Ana.

  "Yeah. Yeah, sure. Come on in." I walked to the door, not sure what Dana's sister was after, but I hoped like hell she would join forces with me on helping me get Dana back. If not... she was out on her ass. There was no way I was compromising anything with my girl.

  Not for anyone. Least of all Ana.

  Chapter 8

  Dana

  "Why do you force me to do uncomfortable things?" I glanced over at Jackie as we stood in a large yoga room, people everywhere, all of them half my size. I hated few things in life, but yoga pants were one of them. They seemed to show every flaw, which was fine unless I was forced to bend over in front of half of Dallas.

  "It's good for you. Stop bitching and breathe in the essence."

  "Essence?" I shook my head. "You know I wanted to stay home today and do nothing."

  "You wanted to cry all day. Every time I call or come by, you're lost in another pity party. You and Kendal could be back together tonight if you went over there and demanded he tell you how he feels about you." She pulled her hair into a high ponytail and lifted her perfect eyebrows at me, challenging me to dispute her claim.

  No. She was right. Then what was I waiting on? I wanted him with everything inside of me.

  "I don't know." I shrugged and lifted my arms toward the sky as the yoga instructor walked to the front of the room. "I'm scared."

  "I know you are." She bent over and touched her hands to the floor, turning a little so she could look up at me. "Love is risky, Dana. You know this shit. You have to step up and hit the ball or get off the fucking field."

  "Ugh. Jeez." A motherly looking woman beside Jackie picked up her mat and moved to the back of the room. "So vulgar."

  "I know. She's horrible." I gave the woman an apologetic look before smiling down at my friend. "This isn't about taking a risk."

  Jackie stood up, the blood having rushed to her face. Somehow, she looked even more attractive. "No, then what's it about?"