Unwind My Resolve: Regal Rights Book #3 Read online

  He was going to be king no matter what, and apparently, I was the only thing standing in his way.

  It didn’t take long for other news outlets to get the first jump on the story, the story that I didn’t feel comfortable telling.

  “Soph!” Matt called my name from afar.

  I jolted and then found his smiling face in the crowd. He’d grown a beard apparently. It was longer than I imagined him to be comfortable with but trimmed nicely. I wondered if that had to do with the chilly Seattle weather.

  My heart warmed for a moment before I walked in his direction. He met me halfway and scooped me into his arms. I dropped my carry-on, and the handle smacked against the ground, startling several nearby passengers from my flight.

  “It’s good to see you, too,” I said. “Now, put me down.”

  “You packin’ a few extra pounds there?” he asked, squeezing my upper arm.

  I swatted at him. “Shut up.”

  “All those break up pints of ice cream?” he asked with a smirk.

  More like bottles of wine. “You’re looking fit as ever.”

  He preened. “It’s Erica. She’s so damn fine. I swear she gets more and more beautiful every day.”

  “Worried?” I asked as a smile played along my lips.

  “Hell, no. With this personality? Please.” He pointed to himself and wagged his eyebrows.

  I couldn’t help but laugh.

  We walked over to the baggage carousel, and I found my bag right away. It wasn’t that heavy. I was only spending a few days in Seattle. Since I had used most of my savings to go to England and Qatar to find Luke, I had to pinch my pennies. It was a good thing the flight to Seattle was Matt’s treat. I never would have been able to afford it.

  “How about some lunch?” he asked. “I want to catch up with you for more than an hour at a time.”

  “You said me ditching you on New Year’s Eve was fine,” I said, giving him a look.

  “It will be fine when you tell me everything.”

  “I have—”

  “I’ve known you for a long time, Sophia. I can tell when you’re lying. I know everything wasn’t covered in our few short phone conversations.”

  After returning home, I had to deal with quitting the Dallas Post and searching for a new job or else I was going to go broke. And I had no urge to talk about Luke to anyone. Ripping open that wound wasn’t going to solve any of my problems.

  * * *

  Matt brought me to an expensive restaurant near the water. I scanned the menu, seeing so many good options. My palate had changed a lot since meeting Luke. Him taking me to expensive restaurants and the amazing food at the palace had brought me out of my fried food and pasta meal rut. Since I’d worked so much, those were always easy and quickly bought or prepared.

  “Don’t worry about the bill,” he said. “My treat.”

  “I don’t want this vacation to be me sucking your bank account dry,” I said.

  “Like you did to yours?” he asked, sipping his water. “Too soon?”

  I glared at the menu, and he gave up for the time being. I ordered the cheapest entree, but Matt didn’t skimp on the white wine. The sun was shining, a rare thing for Seattle, and after a full glass, I started to relax a little bit.

  “You can’t hold me in suspense too long,” he said. “I am paying for lunch.”

  So that was his game. He was footing the bill as long as I supplied him with information. I supposed there were worse things to trade for.

  “What do you want me to say?” I asked. “Mr. Fraser wanted a scoop on life at the palace with Luke, and I couldn’t give that to him.”

  “Didn’t Luke want you to write the story?” Matt asked, bringing back the memory of Luke telling me to write about him. He knew how important the promotion was to me, yet I still couldn’t do it. It proved how selfless he was, but putting his name into my word processor was only going to make everything worse.

  “He did,” I said, pouring myself more wine. “But I figured if Mr. Fraser couldn’t see my talent after six years, it wasn’t worth it to write the story. So I left.”

  “How do you feel about that decision?” he asked.

  I shrugged. “It’s probably something I should have done a long time ago, but I needed that push. I needed to see that there’s so much more out there, and Mr. Fraser and the Dallas Post wasn’t for me. I only wished I didn’t spend most of my savings on plane tickets.”

  “Do you have anything lined up?” Matt asked.

  After a week of wallowing in my sorrows and another week to peel myself up off the couch, I applied to several other newspapers. The jobs didn’t pay as well, but I needed to pay my rent.

  “I have an interview next week,” I said. “I sent over my portfolio before coming here.”

  “Sounds positive,” Matt said.

  “I hope so,” I said.

  “Well, if you ever get kicked out of your apartment, I have a spare room. And there are plenty of news outlets here that would be lucky to have you.”

  “Thanks,” I said, truly meaning it. But I had created this mess, and I was going to get myself out of it. If only my heart weren’t attached to my failure, I might have had another job already.

  “Are we going to talk about the Luke-sized elephant in the room?” Matt asked.

  “No,” I said firmly. “We can talk about work and any other aspects of my personal life, but not him.” I didn’t even want to think of him, never mind talk about him.

  Matt put his hands up in surrender. “That’s fine. But I’m here if you need to talk.”

  “I know,” I said. I appreciated everything he did for me, but I couldn’t help seeing a black hole as my future with nothing waiting on the other side for me.

  * * *

  After lunch, Matt brought me to my hotel. He had wanted me to stay with him, but I was already disrupting much of his life. Also, I wanted to use the trip to regroup and get my head in the game before my interview next week. Staying in Dallas only reminded me of my failures.

  He suggested I treat myself to a spa day, and I promised I would consider it. He knew cost was an issue and offered to pay, but I figured I would get a manicure or a pedicure just to show that I tried.

  All I wanted to do was sleep and order room service, maybe binge watch a few shows that I had on my list and never had time to see due to my work schedule. If I got the new job, then I would throw myself back into work, harder than I ever had before. It was the only way that I could see getting over Luke.

  Matt followed me up to my room, probably to make sure that I didn’t hightail it home out of fear, and helped me settle in.

  It was early afternoon, but I was exhausted. I couldn’t blame jet lag. After going from Dallas to England to Qatar and back, there was no amount of jet lag that could take me out ever again.

  “I’ll leave you to it,” he said. “I’ll be in touch tomorrow after work so we can have dinner.”

  I walked over to the window and stared out at the Space Needle in the distance. “Sounds good.”

  We said our goodbyes and Matt left. I had been alone for most of my adult life, but hearing the click of the door catapulted me back to being in Dallas. I could travel as far as I could away from Luke, but he was never far from my mind.

  What the hell was I thinking? Did I really think that a vacation could make me forget that easily? His memory was attached to everything I did. My needing a job reminded me that I had failed to write the story that he wanted me to. Even being in Seattle reminded me that I wasn’t with him in Qatar instead.

  A vacation wasn’t the easy-out that I wanted and needed to get Luke out of my mind.

  3

  Luke

  Rolling over in bed, I reached out to the spot next to me. For a brief moment, I felt something solid and warm. My eyes sprang open, and Sophia gazed back at me. Her lips curled into a smile, and she was still her breathtakingly beautiful self.

  I reached out to touch her but came up with nothi
ng but air.

  I blinked again, and she disappeared, leaving two large white pillows in her place.

  It wasn’t the first time I had woken up thinking she was still with me. It was my fault she was gone, and for some reason, my subconscious couldn’t accept it.

  I shoved the pillows to the floor. There was no need to take out my frustration on them, but it was all I could do.

  Every day without Sophia seemed to get worse instead of better.

  Glancing at the clock, I remembered that it was Friday. I wasn’t scheduled to meet with the council today, but I did have breakfast with my family.

  Meeting for at least one meal a week was something that Mother requested soon after Father’s funeral. Since both her sons were at home for good, she wanted to have scheduled time in the week for us to catch up with the goings on in our lives.

  I wouldn’t have minded spending time with my family—I loved Mother and Abir—but the conversation always leaned toward me being single. Sure, I was the first king in some time that wasn’t already married before taking the crown, but the circumstances were different with me. I had thrown myself into making our family’s company a success.

  Father’s death had been sudden and had given me no time to prepare.

  Matchmaking was all Mother could talk about, so I dreaded any time I spent alone with her. Thankfully Abir was a buffer between us. He was a mama’s boy, and she doted on him enough that it was a little easier to avoid her speaking to me when he was around.

  I shambled through the bathroom to my walk-in closet. As I chose my clothes for the day, I never felt more alone.

  Sophia had affected me more than I had ever hoped any woman would. I heard her voice in my thoughts and dreamed about her every single night.

  I had forced her to leave but regretted every second of it. What made it worse was knowing that I’d had to do it. It was for the best. Just not the best for me.

  Sifting through my clothes, I didn’t bother with the traditional robes I had worn every day for a month since taking the throne. I wasn’t leaving the palace, and I had work to do in my office. I wanted to be comfortable and feel like myself for a day. It wasn’t so much to ask, but I still felt strange putting on a suit again. Keeping the top buttons open and my tie loose, I strode out of my bedroom toward what was sure to be an interesting breakfast with my family.

  * * *

  Abir and Mother were seated in the small breakfast nook at the west end of the palace. It was more intimate, and Mother and I both thought sitting at the formal table for our meals was a little too much, too soon. It was nice to see that I wasn’t the only person still feeling the effects of Father’s death. While I wanted her to carry on with her life, sometimes I felt like everyone had moved on too quickly.

  Or maybe it was just me. Getting thrust into wearing the crown hadn’t given me much time to grieve. Losing Father and Sophia in the same week wasn’t intentional, but it had been necessary for me to take the throne.

  Even though I missed them both terribly, one of them was still alive and easily accessible, if only I could pick up the damn phone and call her.

  I would never do that. It was confusing enough when Sophia left me the first time. If I called her, she might not know what to think about my word. And at that moment, my word was law. I had to stick to my guns. I refused to drag Sophia into my life if she wasn’t one hundred percent sure she wanted to be there.

  “Good morning, Luke,” Mother said with a smile.

  In the past two months, I had never seen Mother smile more than she did now. I hated to think that was because Sophia was out of my life. Since Mother didn’t hide her emotions well, I knew that it was the case, but I would never confront her about it. It would only make me think of Sophia more than I already did.

  “Good morning, Mother, Abir,” I said, taking my seat by the window.

  I caught Mother looking at me from the corner of her eye, but I didn’t engage her. I lifted my piping cup of tea and sipped it.

  “Where were we?” Mother asked Abir.

  Abir smirked. “I wanted to ask if I could miss dinner tonight.”

  Mother’s eyebrows shot up.

  I smiled. His excuse better be good for missing family time.

  “I’m going out with Alda for the day,” he said, throwing a look my way.

  This was about a girl?

  I glanced at Mother. Her response would depend on the girl’s status. This was the first I’d heard of Alda, but I’d only been back at the palace for a month. My previous visits revolved around convincing Mother that I wasn’t single and Father’s death, and I’d never asked Abir about his life in the palace. Now was my chance to make an effort.

  “Who’s Alda?” I asked.

  I hadn’t seen Abir grin like that since Sophia was around. I was convinced he had a crush on her, and she was just as doting, but all mine.

  “She’s Kaamil Badour’s daughter,” Mother said, practically floating on air.

  Kaamil was a close friend of the family. Abir didn’t need to find a match for status, so I was surprised he’d found one anyway.

  Sliding a look at Mother, I wondered if she had arranged their meeting behind the scenes. Either way, Abir seemed positively smitten with the girl.

  My chest ached.

  “Don’t be out too late,” Mother said, hardly disguising her stamp of approval.

  For the rest of the conversation, I asked Abir about Alda and how they met. It all seemed to have occurred naturally enough, but I kept an eye on Mother’s reaction. I didn’t know why I cared so much, maybe because she had tried to set me up every single time I came to visit the palace. There wasn’t one time before a month ago, when I brought Sophia as my fake girlfriend, that she hadn’t set me up on at least two dates during whatever short time I’d been home. And she wondered why I stayed in England for most of the year.

  Abir didn’t want to be late for his date with Alda, so he left soon after shoveling his breakfast in his mouth.

  I wanted him to stay, but I knew I would have to face Mother alone sooner or later. After discussing Abir’s love life, I knew what was coming before she said the first word.

  “With all this talk of girls and women in my boy’s life, I wanted to tell you that I’ve arranged a date for you,” Mother said, getting right to the point. “Tomorrow night.”

  “Did you?” I asked, shaking my head. “I’m guessing I can’t refuse?”

  “Now that you’re king, it’s time you solidify other aspects of your life. Namely, securing a wife.”

  “Yes, Mother. I am king. A king who can make his own decisions.”

  “Not personal ones,” she said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’ve been moping around this place after that girl left. It’s not royal behavior. Now that that toxic woman is out of your life, you need to settle down.”

  “I’m settled,” I said. “Her name is Sophia by the way. But when it comes to women, I don’t want you meddling anymore.” I wished there was a royal decree for king’s mothers to stay out of their business. Knowing Mother, she would only try harder.

  “It’s not about me meddling anymore,” she said. “You came into the throne under unorthodox circumstances. Your Father’s death was sudden, and the council didn’t have much time to deliberate before you chose your path.”

  I snapped my neck her way. “What do you know about the council?”

  “I hear things,” she said.

  I narrowed my eyes. “What things?”

  “You will be much more respected with a woman by your side.”

  “Who said I’m not respected?” I asked, standing up. My chair teetered on the edge of falling but righted itself. My breakfast caught in my throat. What did she know about anything to do with the council? Had someone been feeding her information… or lies? What happened in that room was private and confidential.

  She dodged the question. “It shows stability, for the council and your people. Isn’t that wh
at you want?”

  “Of course,” I said, stalking over to the balcony. “But this is none of your business.”

  Her chair moved, and her soft footsteps approached. I could barely breathe. I loosened my tie, but it didn’t help.

  “I want you to be happy. Fulfilled.”

  “I’ve been on my own for years, and I am fulfilled.”

  “I know you think you are, but it’s different when you have someone to share your life with.”

  She was right. I had never felt as complete as I had when Sophia was with me. How could anyone but her give me that feeling again?

  “You know I’m not privy to what happens in the meeting room,” she said, as if reading my mind. It was a gift of hers and a curse for me. “But I’ve seen the way the council members act toward you and how they acted toward Erol. There’s a disconnect.”

  “And you think a woman is going to change that?”

  “It wouldn’t hurt. Since you haven’t been around for years, they want to be sure that you are prepared to be settled here for the rest of your life. You need to do something to prove that to them.”

  Jaabir was the most traditional member of the council. While he hadn’t said it aloud, I wondered if Mother was right and he wanted to see me put down roots. To him, I looked like someone who came back to the palace out of duty instead of a desire to reign.

  I wanted to respect Father’s wishes. Maybe the only way was to follow in his footsteps. All the way.

  The thought of being with someone other than Sophia made my stomach churn. With her, it had been so easy. Even though we faked it for a little while, I quickly fell for her, and being with her was as easy as breathing. I knew a love like that would only come around once in a lifetime, but I had needed to let her go. It was the best for everyone.

  At the very least, I could go on a date to show I was trying. Maybe Jaabir would see my effort and accept that I was on my way to becoming a shade closer to the king that Father was. It was all I could do at the moment.

  “Fine,” I said to Mother. “I will go out with this woman.”