Billion Dollar Man Read online

  “Is happiness really a part of it?” I asked.

  “It should be.”

  I sighed, looking into my enormous cup and swirling the coffee that was still in it.

  “I guess so. But I feel like I should be doing this, you know? I mean, it’s not just about Dad, anymore. When he died, everything was about the legacy he left behind. But now it’s about Uncle Dean, too. He left the company for me the same way Dad did. It’s some kind of sign, isn’t it?”

  My mom pulled up one shoulder. “I guess you could see it as a sign. But at the end of the day, you have to be happy with the choices you make. You can’t live someone else’s life. Your father was so serious about his job, and that was who he was. But you don’t have to be like that.”

  I put down the cup and pushed my hands into my hair. “If I don’t do this, I feel like their deaths were all for nothing.”

  “What do you mean?” my mom asked with a frown.

  I was getting too close to the investigations.

  “I don’t want everything they worked for to be for nothing.”

  My mom nodded. “I can understand that. I know why you chose to take over the company again. Just remember to put your happiness first. Always. Your dad and Dean were both serious about what they wanted, but they were happy where they were, too. I’m sure that neither of them would have wanted you to give up your happiness.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “Thanks, Mom.”

  She hugged me, wrapping her arms around me, but I couldn’t help but think that it wasn’t really as easy as she was making it sound.

  “Now, let me fix up a room,” my mom said.

  I shook my head. “You don’t have to go out of your way, mom. I’ll stay at a hotel.”

  “Nonsense. You’re home for a while, I want to spend time with you while I have you.”

  “Okay,” I said, knowing I couldn’t argue with her. I hadn’t lived at home in ten years, but it would be good to stay with my mom and Paul for a couple of days.

  When my mom had fussed about getting a bed set up in the office that used to be my room, I brought my bag in from the car I had rented at the airport. I stopped my mom from opening closet space for me. She finally let the subject go and moved to the kitchen to start supper.

  I called Jerrod.

  “Already bored in the Big City?” Jerrod asked when he answered.

  I chuckled. “You better believe it. So bored, I came back for a couple of days.”

  “Seriously? That’s so good to hear. Everyone is already missing you. Even Mila if you’re lucky.” He laughed at his stupid little joke, but I didn’t think it was very funny. He had no idea. I hoped she missed me. The conversation was suddenly awkward. It was strange talking to Jerrod about Mila now that I knew exactly how I felt about her. But I couldn’t exactly avoid my best friend just because there was a big question mark in my life about his sister.

  “Come out to the restaurant for drinks tonight. It’s my off night, but you know I have nowhere to go without you.”

  I hesitated.

  “It’s going to be chill, and Mila is hanging around with Skylar, too. So, come hang out with us.”

  “Okay,” I said. “I’ll be there.”

  Jerrod laughed. “Don’t make me feel special or anything, bro. I’ll see you later.”

  When he ended the call, I looked at the screen. Mila was going to be there tonight. She was the only reason I was going if I had to be honest about it. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go out or that I didn’t want to see Jerrod, but since I had gotten involved with Mila, it had been weird hanging around him. Of course, he knew nothing. So I couldn’t let on that something was up. When he did ask, I would tell him that it was the pressure of work or whatever. I didn’t want him to know that I was pining for his little sister.

  I didn’t even know if she wanted to have anything to do with me anymore. She hadn’t called me or texted me or anything while I had been in New York. I guess it was understandable after the way I had treated her before leaving, but I had hoped she would.

  After showering, I dressed in jeans and a collared shirt with new shoes I had bought in New York. Was I dressing up for her? Yes. I hoped she liked what she saw.

  Nerves set in when I looked in the mirror and ran my hands through my damp hair. I had never been one to style my hair meticulously, but I wanted to look good, tonight. Without looking like I had tried to look good for her.

  I sighed when I looked at the final image. In New York, women tripped over their feet to talk to me, and they were flattered as fuck when I spoke to them. When I had taken them home – before I had fallen for Mila – they had been all about how amazing it was to be with me. But I knew it had been about my money more than my personality. I had still been confident, knowing that I could get any woman I wanted.

  Now, I wasn’t confident at all. Mila wasn’t shallow the way they had been, and even though I had money, Mila wasn’t after my riches. She cared about who I was as a person. Or at least, she used to care. I had hurt her, and I didn’t know if she still felt the same way. But it had only been a week, right? She couldn’t have lost all her feelings for me.

  “Where are you going?” my mom asked, coming into the room.

  “To The Cottage. Jerrod invited me.”

  “I just cooked,” my mom said, looking disappointed.

  “I’m going after I eat your delicious supper,” I said, and my mom perked up right away. I had meant to leave immediately, but I could sit down and eat with my mom and Paul to make them happy. It was an hour out of my life, and they deserved that much from me. I walked with my mom to the dining room where she had set the table.

  “I don’t think we’ve eaten here in the ten years you’ve been gone,” Paul said, stringing the most words together in one sentence I had ever heard him speak.

  “It’s a special occasion,” my mom said and sat down. “Sit, please, Ben. I made lasagna, your favorite.”

  “It’s store bought,” Paul said.

  “Okay,” my mom said, shooting him a look. “I warmed up lasagna.”

  I laughed. “Looks great, mom.”

  It was good to be home again and to eat my favorite food. Even if it wasn’t homemade. The contrast between this life and my life in New York was staggering.

  Chapter 27

  Mila

  Skylar and I were at The Cottage again on Saturday night. This time, I felt better. I had slept most of the day and having a break from the ICU and all the patients that were fighting for their lives had done me good. I was laughing again, and I didn’t feel like I was being dragged down by life itself anymore.

  I had on a mint-green summer dress and ballerina flats. Skylar wore blue that made her eyes look like ice, and we sat at the bar, laughing and talking and drinking. Jerrod was with us, and even though I hadn’t been on the best terms with him, we were getting along tonight. I couldn’t always treat him like shit because my life hadn’t worked out the way I had wanted it to.

  We were having a good time. Skylar was telling us about something that had happened at the offices where she worked, and Jerrod and I were in stitches. Skylar was hilarious when she was tipsy, and it was only getting worse.

  “Can I join you?” a familiar voice said behind me. When I turned, Ben stood there in all his glory.

  And, God, he looked good. My stomach twisted and erupted in butterflies, and I stared at him. Skylar nudged me.

  “Surprise,” Ben said with a grin.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “I had to take a break. I had some things I needed to think about.”

  I didn’t know if he was referring to what had happened between us when he said that. I had no idea what to think. I hadn’t expected him here. It had only been a week, and I had finally gotten to a point where I could enjoy myself. And now, here he was. Making my head spin and my chest tighten and heat wash through my body.

  My hand was still on my drink, and I brought it to my lips and gulped it dow
n.

  “You didn’t tell me that,” Jerrod said.

  “You knew he was coming?” Skylar asked.

  Jerrod grinned. “Who says I can’t keep a secret?”

  I wished he had said something. I could have prepared myself. Now, my emotions were all over the place, and I had to play it cool in front of Jerrod.

  “What are you thinking about, Ben?” Skylar asked. She was sticking her nose into my business, and part of me wished she wouldn’t, but now that she’d asked, I wanted to hear Ben’s answer.

  “I think I might have rushed to New York too soon,” Ben said.

  He looked at me when he said it and that only confused me more. What the hell did that mean? Was it about me? If I assumed it was, and it turned out that it wasn’t what he was talking about, I would only feel like a fool. I was already a fool for hoping that it was about me.

  It probably wasn’t. This past week, I had realized it had never been. We had a fling of sorts that I obviously read a lot more into. It had gone in a direction that I might have regretted if we had taken it further. If I had slept with him, given my virginity to him, it would have been a big deal but only one-sided.

  And that would have been shit.

  Besides, it didn’t matter why he was here, I told myself. Ben had hurt me, and I was still upset that he hadn’t been a gentleman and stopped flirting with me if he hadn’t cared about me. Or said as much if he had cared about me.

  No, I didn’t care that he was back. At all. And if I kept telling myself that, maybe I would believe it, too.

  Ben sat down on a barstool, and he and Jerrod started talking. It was obvious my brother was glad his best friend was back. And why not? They had been close for more than twenty years. Ben was like a brother to Jerrod. And I was happy for him.

  We carried on drinking together. Skylar kept glancing at me as if she was trying to gauge where I was at, emotionally. But I was damn good at my poker face. Hospital patients needed it from me when they were dying, and I couldn’t show I was upset about it. So no matter how many times Skylar stared at me, she couldn’t read my face.

  “I have to go to the restroom,” I said and slid off the barstool.

  “Do you want me to come with you?” Skylar asked.

  I shook my head. “It’s my parents’ place, Sky. I’ll be fine.”

  I knew that Skylar wanted to gossip about Ben; this was nothing about safety-in-numbers the way we always did it when we went out to clubs. But I wanted to be alone. My head was spinning, both with alcohol and the confusion about Ben being here, and I needed a moment to breathe.

  When I pushed through the door that led to the restrooms, Ben was suddenly right behind me. We were caught between the doors that led to the ladies’ and men’s restrooms respectively, and the door that led back to the dining room.

  “Ben,” I said. He was catching me off guard a lot tonight. “What are you doing?”

  “I wanted to talk to you. Alone. It’s the reason I’m here.”

  I started shaking my head.

  “Why didn’t you call me back?” Ben asked.

  I narrowed my eyes at him. I was still pissed off. Why was he making this harder for me than it needed to be? We could just go our separate ways. I thought we had.

  “You can’t tell me you don’t know the answer to that,” I said.

  “Yeah. Look, I’m sorry. Okay? I was a jerk. Everything I did was shitty. I shouldn’t have left the way I did. I really missed you.”

  I shook my head. It was too much for me to deal with. This rollercoaster of emotions was killing me.

  “We don’t have to even go there,” I said. “We’re on different paths, and we should follow them. You have things to take care of like you said. And so do I. It was just a wrong-place-wrong-time thing.”

  That sounded reasonable, right? The alcohol made me feel like I was going to lose my balance, and I was flustered with Ben this close to me. His cologne was intoxicating, and he looked down at me with eyes that looked like the ocean and were just as deep.

  “I disagree,” Ben said.

  “What?”

  “With the wrong-place-wrong-time thing. I think it was the right place and the right time.”

  “Don’t do this,” I started but Ben didn’t let me finish. He grabbed me and kissed me. His lips came down hard on mine, and his arm was around my waist, pulling me against his body. My stomach twisted and need clenched at my core. I melted against Ben because my body wouldn’t let me do anything else. The little voice in the back of my mind screamed at me that I had to push him away, to stop him before my heart was in danger, yet again. But I couldn’t hear that little voice so well with Ben’s body pressed against mine and the sexual tension that grew around us in seconds. The air was so thick with it I could barely breathe.

  I lifted my arms and finally wrapped them around Ben’s neck. It was the ultimate cave-in. I had given up the fight, and Ben had won this round. A very big part of me had wanted him to.

  Finally, Ben let go of me. If he hadn’t, we would have made out forever. I hadn’t wanted him to stop, but we couldn’t carry on. Not here, where anyone could come in or out of any of the doors.

  “We have to get back,” I said in a breathy voice. “If Jerrod comes to look for us, we’re fucked.”

  Ben nodded and stepped away from me. I didn’t want him to.

  “Thank you,” he said.

  “For what?”

  “Wording it like that. If there was nothing between us, there would be nothing for Jerrod to see to be in trouble about.”

  I closed my eyes for a second and shook my head. He had caught me. I had admitted that there was still something very big between us. But it wasn’t like I had been able to convince myself that I felt nothing, so there it was.

  “I need to go to the bathroom,” I said, gesturing to the ladies’ room.

  “I’ll see you back at the bar,” Ben said and kissed me once more. This time, it was only a chaste peck on the lips, but electricity still shot through my body, and I shivered. Ben left, and I pushed into the ladies’ room. I walked to the sink and splashed cold water on my face. When I looked in the mirror, my cheeks were flushed.

  What the hell was happening? I had decided yesterday when I talked to Skylar that everything was over between Ben and me and that I would move on with my life. Now that he was back, I fell straight back into his arms. Why couldn’t I stand strong and reject him?

  I knew the answer to that. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to push him away. I still had feelings for him, and no matter what he did to me, that wouldn’t just change. It was why I had been so heartbroken in the first place.

  My blood surged in my veins, and I knew it wasn’t just the alcohol. Right now, I was drunk in love. The alcohol in my system helped it along, I was sure – lowering my inhibitions. But it wasn’t only the alcohol. The little voice, already drowning in alcohol and romantic bliss, tried to tell me that heartbreak was a lot worse than a hangover. But as with everything else where Ben was involved, I wasn’t going to listen.

  The kiss had been exciting. I was confused as hell about what was going on between us, now. But the kiss had been toe-curling, gut-melting – the stuff of dreams. And I knew that if he did it again, I would respond in exactly the same way. Some logical part of me would shout out that I was being stupid and setting myself up for heartbreak. And the part of me that thought the sun rose and set with Ben would ignore my very sage advice, and I would kiss him back the same way I just had.

  Ben was my kryptonite. After what I felt for him, he could shatter me. And I would still set myself in a position that would allow him to do that. Because I cared. Fuck, I cared. A lot.

  I wouldn’t be able to resist Ben. And when he made a move on me, I would give in to it. I would give it all to him. My body, my time. My heart.

  Chapter 28

  Ben

  I lay in the bed my mom had set up for me in the office and looked up at the ceiling I had grown up under. I had alwa
ys had pictures of models and sports teams on the walls. Now, the walls were bare, save for a water painting that one Miranda Castle had given my mom.

  Miranda, Mila and Jerrod’s mom, was my mom’s best friend. Their friendship was one of the reasons Jerrod and I had known each other for so long. Our friendship had started with play-dates in kindergarten so that our moms could get together and talk shit. Or share parenting tips. Or whatever it was that women talked about when they got together.

  Who would have thought that so many years down the line, I would have fallen for my best friend’s little sister? I had practically grown up with her. I had been in the Castle’s house or restaurant so many times, Mila had felt like my own sister.

  But that had changed. I didn’t see her as a sister at all, now.

  She had been distant when I had first arrived, last night. She had been shocked, but I hadn’t wanted anyone to know I was coming. I had been worried she would run away if she knew I was back in Portland so she didn’t have to see me.

  And she might have. She had been pissed off at me, I had seen it. But she had looked like a vision in that green dress, her hair up in a messy bun. I hadn’t even seen Skylar or Jerrod until they had spoken to me.

  That kiss had been the best kiss I’d ever had. And that was saying something, considering how many girls I’d kissed in my life. But Mila was something else. I wanted all of this with her. And more.

  I could have any woman in the world. I’d had so many as it was. But there was something about Mila that drew me. She was different than the rest of them, and I wanted her in my life. She made me feel alive in ways I had never felt before.

  When I thought about it, I had never been in love. Not like this. Sure, I’d had crushes in school. There had been that beautiful blonde that I had thought was the hottest thing I had ever seen in Senior year. But even she was nothing in comparison to Mila, who was beautiful in a way that no one could compete with. It wasn’t just natural beauty, either. She had tons of that, but her personality shone through, making her exotic and one-of-a-kind.