Demanding All Of You Page 16

  “Wow!” he said with true amazement. The look on his face made me feel like a superhero. “You worked on a real farm?”

  “This is a real farm. Grandpa chooses to only grow wheat now instead of things like corn and potatoes. He said the animals cost too much to take care of, and with just him eating, he didn’t want to waste the time or energy.”

  He chewed his food looking very thoughtful. “Now there are two of us. And Alex. We should have animals.”

  I chuckled. “I don’t think we need animals just yet. You’re in school and I would be doing all the work. I’m not sure I’m ready.”

  “I’ll help you. You said I’m a farmer.”

  “I did say that. Maybe one day.”

  “Did you and grandpa do it all by yourselves?” he asked curiously.

  I could practically read his mind and knew exactly where he was going with his line of questioning. He was going to make a very good lawyer one day. Or maybe a detective. “Back then, it was just me and grandpa. We both worked really hard. I didn’t mind, really. I did complain from time to time, but it was part of my life. It’s a big job and you would have to help me out. A lot.”

  “I want to have pigs and chickens,” he announced. “I’ll help.”

  I laughed. “Let’s get through this learning curve before we get too many animals. Animals are hard to take care of, especially in the winter. I’m not sure we’re cut out for that. It’s so much easier to buy food at the grocery store.”

  “I am. I’m a farmer. I can do it.”

  His declaration was cute, and I was happy he was enthused, but I was still not one hundred percent convinced I was a farmer. I had gotten a little soft over the years. Soft, as in I liked the convenience of having food delivered when I was too tired to shop. Life in New York was a lot easier, if not a lot noisier. Both places had their good points and bad. I had told myself I had six months to make a final decision. Six months to weigh the pros and cons and come up with a plan for the rest of my life.

  “Finish up,” I told him, getting up and emptying out my coffee.

  “Is Alex coming today?” he asked.

  “I don’t think so,” I told him.

  “Is she coming tomorrow?”

  I grimaced. I didn’t want to lie to the kid and string him along. It was better to just be open with him. The sooner he knew she wasn’t coming back, the better. “I don’t think she is. Alex has another job.”

  He frowned. “She works here.”

  “Not anymore.”

  He took another bite. I could see his little brain working. “She likes it here.”

  I smiled. “I think she likes farming in general, not necessarily this farm.”

  “Is she mad at us?” he questioned.

  “No,” I quickly answered. “Absolutely not. Alex works on one farm for a little bit and then she goes to work on another farm. It’s like when I used to go to work at the office. Alex has to go to work on another farm.”

  He let out a sigh. “I’m going to miss her. She was going to show me how to ride Casper.”

  “We’ll keep working on the horse thing,” I promised.

  “I think she’ll come back,” he stated.

  I smiled, not wanting to completely dash his hopes. “We’ll see. Now, go wash your face and let’s get a move on.”

  He left the kitchen. I wanted to believe she might be back, but I truly doubted she would. She had run out on me like a scared animal. I didn’t think I was a scary man, but clearly, I had spooked her. I really needed to work on my game.

  I drove Oliver to school. He didn’t even want me walking him inside anymore. He was very sure of himself as he walked in, waving to some of the other students. I watched him, smiling at him walking away from me, and felt a little sad.

  He was growing up right before my very eyes. I was thrilled that he seemed to be doing well but saddened that he needed me a little less. I drove away from the school, heading back toward the farm. I couldn’t help but scan the road, looking for her truck. She had said she was going to Wyoming, but I wasn’t sure if that had been real or just a way for her to tell me to fuck off and leave her alone.

  Part of me hoped she would be at the farm waiting for me when I got back. The moment I pulled in and saw that her truck wasn’t there, I felt a huge sense of disappointment. I got out of the car and looked around the place. It was so quiet. I could hear a tractor in the distance and the sounds of birds, but other than that, it was silent.

  The silence was hard to deal with when I had become so accustomed to the constant noise of the city. Even at night, the city was always humming with activity. When we’d first arrived here, I had appreciated the quiet. Now, it was a stark, cold reminder that I was all alone. Completely alone.

  I wasn’t sure I was as strong as my grandfather. I wasn’t sure I could toil away on the farm every single day for the rest of my life by myself. Oliver would be at school, then he’d get friends and want to hang out with them, then he would leave, and I would still be on the farm. I didn’t know how my grandfather had done it. I did know I wasn’t sure I could do it. He was a far bigger man than I.

  I went out to the barn, the silence deafening. I could practically hear the dust settling. I had never felt more alone in my entire life. I didn’t realize how much I had come to appreciate Alex’s company until she was gone. I didn’t know if she would ever be back. Would I ever bump into her in town? Would she ever stop by?

  I barely knew the woman. I couldn’t explain why I was so hung up on her. I had to believe it was because I had been alone for so long and she was the first woman to come along that I had the time to explore a relationship with, brief as it was.

  “Get over it,” I ordered myself. I wasn’t going to be one of those guys who wallowed. It was time to move on. Sex one time did not make a relationship. I was getting worked up over nothing.

  Chapter 26

  Alex

  My feet felt like I had cement blocks attached to the bottom of my boots. I was dog tired. Dead. Dog. Tired. I couldn’t remember ever working so hard. It felt good and awful at the same time. Wayne’s farm had been in desperate need of serious attention. I hadn’t stopped working since I had shown up two weeks ago. My body felt it.

  “Knock, knock,” I called, opening the screen door and going into the house. I was staying in a spare bedroom in the house. With the early mornings and late nights, it made sense to sleep at the farm. It allowed me an extra hour of sleep each night by not having to drive out to the farm from town.

  “In the kitchen,” Wayne called back.

  “I’m hitting the shower,” I hollered.

  “I’ve got dinner almost done,” he answered.

  I smiled, shaking my head. Instead of going down the hall to my room, I went into the kitchen. “Wayne, you don’t have to cook me dinner.”

  “I’m cooking me dinner and I just happen to have plenty for the both of us,” he said with a laugh.

  He’d been cooking me dinner every night. He was not physically capable of keeping up with me out on the farm. I usually ended up forcing him to go inside sometime after lunch. I appreciated his help, but I didn’t want the man working himself to death on my watch.

  “You are too good to me,” I told him.

  “It’s the least I can do after all the help you’ve given me. Go clean up. It will be ready in twenty minutes.”

  The smell of the baking chicken was too much to ignore. I had grabbed a sandwich earlier in the day and that had been it. I was starving and couldn’t wait to dig into what smelled like a delicious dinner. I headed off to the bathroom and took a quick shower, washing away the dirt and grime. I emerged from the shower feeling like a whole new woman.

  I dressed in clean sweats and headed for the kitchen.

  “Feel better?” he asked.

  “I do. Dinner smells amazing.”

  “I suppose I owe Vera the thanks. She left me all these recipes. She said one day I would have to cook for myself. They are simple en
ough for a toddler to follow.”

  I laughed. “That’s the kind of recipe book I need.”

  We took our seats at the table and dished up. It was very informal. After two weeks of living together and eating our meals together, it had become very comfortable between us. I took the first bite and nodded.

  “Good?” he asked.

  “Very good. You are a good cook. I think you missed your calling. You should have been a chef.”

  He laughed, waving his fork. “Ah, hell, like I said, Vera left step-by-step instructions. Nothing fancy. Just the basics.”

  “Which is why it’s perfect. It’s not smothered with all the extras. Just plain goodness.”

  He grinned. “Thank you. I can copy the recipes for you. They might come in handy one day.”

  I shrugged a shoulder. “I can open a can of soup like nobody’s business.”

  “Your future husband might like a hot meal now and again.”

  I giggled, not missing his intended point. “I’ll make sure the soup is hot.”

  “Why are you afraid to get married?” he asked directly.

  “I’m not afraid,” I answered.

  “Then how come you don’t have a man back home waiting for you?”

  I sighed. It was the same question I always got. “I don’t want the hassle. I don’t want to worry about someone waiting for me to call and check-in. Sometimes I go to work before the sun even thinks about getting up. A man is going to want to know why, and where, and how long I’ll be gone. There will be questions and complaints. I don’t want to disappoint someone.”

  “Why would you disappoint someone?” he asked.

  I shrugged. “Because I am who I am. I don’t aim to please anyone. I aim to please myself and my clients. I don’t know how to be a girlfriend or a wife. I’m bound to disappoint any man that gets mixed up with me.”

  He picked up his napkin and dabbed at the corners of his mouth. “I was like you once.”

  “You were?” I asked with genuine surprise.

  He smiled. “I was. I was a young man who only cared about one thing—riding the next bronco and getting my next drink. I didn’t want a real girlfriend and I certainly didn’t want a wife. I was one of those young bucks that roamed from rodeo to rodeo, trying to make enough money to move onto the next rodeo.”

  “What changed?” I asked.

  “Vera. I met Vera. She changed me. She didn’t force me to change, but one kiss from my sweet lady, and I wanted more. I knew I had to be a better man if I wanted her. I cleaned up my act and came back home to settle down.”

  “She sounds like a good woman.”

  He offered a small smile. “She was the best. I think she saved my life. I was headed down a bad, bad road. Vera was a patient woman. I stumbled a lot, but she loved me anyway. I wasn’t good enough for her, but she loved me. I think she must have been a touch crazy.”

  I laughed. “I don’t think she was crazy. She saw you for the good man you were.”

  “Now you know my story and how a good woman changed me. You sure you don’t want to rethink your choice to remain single forever?”

  I sighed. I felt like I knew Wayne well enough to talk to him, like really talk to him. “I’ll be honest. I thought there was someone. I don’t know.”

  “What happened? Did he leave you?”

  I smiled. “No. I guess you could say I left him.”

  “Oh no, don’t tell me you left him to come out here?”

  I shrugged. “Yes and no. It was over before it ever started.”

  “Why?”

  “Wayne, I feel like I’m talking to my therapist.”

  He laughed. “Call me Dr. Wayne. What happened?”

  I blew out a breath. “I was working on a farm. The owner passed away and left it to his grandson. The grandson showed up from New York with his son. We kind of hit it off. I really like the little boy.”

  “Is he a bad guy? Abusive? Vulgar?”

  “Absolutely not,” I said quickly, defending him. “He’s a great guy. He’s funny, charming, and very handsome.”

  Wayne was smiling and nodding. “I see. So, what’s the problem?”

  “He’s from New York for one, and for two, I don’t do relationships.”

  He took another bite, nodding as he chewed. “But you like this guy.”

  “He’s a little arrogant. I think he’s bossy and he inherited a farm he hasn’t stepped foot on in thirteen years. I don’t even know if he’s going to stick around. He’ll probably run back to the city with his tail between his legs. I’ll never hear from him again. I’ll never see little Oliver again. I will have wasted my time with a man that’s just going to leave me.”

  “You’re scared,” he stated.

  “I’m not scared,” I retorted. “What would I possibly be afraid of?”

  “Getting hurt. You don’t want to get your heart broken.”

  I was about to deny it when I realized that would be lying. “Of course, I don’t want my heart broken, but that isn’t the only reason. I don’t want to waste time with a man that isn’t going to stick around.”

  “What else you got going on?”

  “If you’re asking if I’m dating anyone else, no.”

  He chuckled. “Good to know. I meant, how would it be a waste of time to have a good time with a man you sound like you are quite fond of? You would make memories, laugh, smile, and other things.”

  I could feel my cheeks blushing. “But then it would be over, and I would be alone again. I would miss him. I would feel sad and angry. I don’t want to feel like that.”

  “You can’t feel sad if you’ve never felt happy,” he reasoned.

  I scoffed. “That’s not even remotely true.”

  “It is. When was the last time you felt really, really happy?”

  I thought about it. I tried very hard to remember a time when I felt truly happy. “I don’t know. I’m happy in general.”

  He nodded. “What about when you were really sad?”

  “I’m not sad. I have nothing to be sad about.”

  “You are a very calm person, very reserved,” he stated.

  I shrugged. “I don’t get worked up about much. It’s pointless. I am more of a thinker. I see something I don’t like or something that can and should be better, and I fix it.”

  He nodded. “Does your man make you smile?”

  “My man?”

  “The man back home.”

  “Oh, Damion. Yes, he makes me smile.”

  His question made me think about a lot more than smiling. He had made me feel alive, exhilarated.

  “I can see that,” he said, a knowing smile on his face. “Do you know your eyes turn a darker shade of green when you talk about him?”

  “What? No, they don’t.”

  “Yes, they do. You get a look on your face when you talk about him. I think you need to call your man. Talk about what you want and how you feel.”

  I scrunched up my nose. “I cannot do that. We aren’t at that point in the relationship. We don’t even have a relationship.”

  “Does he know you’re here?”

  “I did tell him I was going to Wyoming.”

  “Have you spoken since you left?”

  I slowly shook my head. “No.”

  He frowned. “Does your phone not work out here?”

  “It works fine, but I’ve been so busy, I haven’t checked.”

  “Call him,” he ordered.

  “I can’t,” I whined.

  “Sure, you can. What’s the worst that can happen?”

  I mulled it over. “I don’t know.”

  “Exactly. He doesn’t take your call, or he tells you he never wants to see you again. That’s the worst. You already have one foot out the door anyway. No harm, no foul.”

  “I will think about it,” I told him, hoping to end the conversation.

  “Do that.”

  We finished our meal before the two of us cleaned up together. I was beyond exhausted. I could
n’t wait until the job was over. I was going to go home, lock the door, and keep the lights off and the phone off. I was going to sleep for a week.

  “Goodnight, Wayne,” I said once the chores were finished.

  “Get some sleep,” he ordered.

  I smiled. “I will.”

  I went to my borrowed room and closed the door behind me. I dug out my phone from the drawer where I had tossed it a couple of days ago. It wasn’t like I was interested in taking another job right away. I had no family to worry about. Sadie knew I was working, and when I was on a job like Wayne’s, I was all in.

  I turned on my phone and stared at the screen, waiting to see if there were any text messages. None. No voicemail. No texts. Damion wasn’t trying to talk to me. It had been a brief moment of wishful thinking on my part. Wayne had made me think there was something. There wasn’t. There was nothing. It had been a fling. Not even a fling. It had been a quickie in the barn.

  Wayne’s romantic ideas were nothing more than an old man’s fantasy. He had been lucky enough to find a good woman.

  Few people ever had that kind of love.

  Chapter 27

  Damion

  I was going about my usual, boring routine in the silence of the barn when I heard a truck rumbling down the long driveway. My mind immediately went to Alex. I knew it wouldn’t be her. Why would it? It had been over two weeks and I had not heard one word from her. I hadn’t seen her around town either. I was confident I would have bumped into her if she was back. The void her absence left was huge.

  I took off my gloves, telling myself it wasn’t her. I didn’t want to have my hopes up. It wasn’t her. She was gone. I walked out of the barn, and no matter how many times I had told myself it wouldn’t be her, the disappointment when I found it wasn’t her was difficult to deal with.

  “Hey,” I greeted Justin as he hopped out of his old truck.

  “Hey, yourself,” he said with his usual lopsided grin.

  “What brings you out this way?”

  He shrugged. “I’m off today and thought I’d come by and sharpen those blades. That old machine could use a little tune-up as well.”